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Part 6


BLINKING LIGHT ON TOP OF CLIMBING TREE Nov. 2, 1994
Was helping a friend build a deck yesterday. I said “You could always put another beam in there.” Right then heard a "beep." Thought it meant to get more strength to quit smoking, as I had that very day been drinking and smoking, and was feeling guilty.
The previous night, I was thinking of writing about the cone-head shape with the broken line through the circle in the cone hat, which I saw a while ago, after reading a book on parallel dimensions and quantum physics. I was also thinking of when I once saw a tub of ice cream in the center of a road, and how this is similar. (Sept. 27, 1994) This symbol was like a saucer. I am now thinking about this in the middle of the night, and right then, imagined a hot oiled fork sizzling as it touched the edge of my mouth. It reminded me of the hot oil when cooking potatoes; there was no pain though.
The night before, I actually saw a white light that was blinking in the sky to the north. I thought it was a plane, but then it went out. It was near the very top of the big climbing tree, and lasted maybe twenty seconds. Earlier that same day, before seeing the blinking light, I had even been talking to friends about lights in the sky, that people working at the store saw a month before. This was down in the valley; there were big green glowing lights at night above a vineyard.
Saw a silhouette of a face against a light that seemed like the sun. It was so clear.
Dreamed of baby rattlesnakes in a nest. Some of the heads seemed to have fur on them like a kitten’s or baby bird's soft fur. I was in terror and wanted to stone them at one point, but took pity as if they were baby birds, but still in terror. The previous day I had smoked, and felt very guilty about it.
I remember a long time ago, a little after the they came. Someone said on the radio: “We are just separated by a wall is all;” and I heard a “boom boom,” as if a pounding on the wall in my room. ( I forgot to mention this other fact, the first time I spoke about this.) He also said: “You are connected by a umbilical cord.” This reminded me of the spiral feeling. The radio was static most of the time, and the voice faded in and out. All that I heard clearly were these two sentences, and the rest had a overtone that rose and lowered, with a static humming that blotted the voice out. I could hear the voice warped in a mumbling drone. This happened a long time ago, when tuned to a religious station; but I now believe it was the aliens speaking through the radio then; because the program didn't fit the station, and this hasn't ever happened since. (Later on I had read the book "Uri" by Andrija Puharich, and found out that the aliens spoke to them over a radio and tape recorder.

THE SUN BLOTTED OUT Nov. 3, 1994
Yesterday I worried about writing a book and how much trouble that would be. I feared that money could be lost if I gave the story away, and had already sent it out. That evening I saw in a image, a pair of green safety glasses, that were similar to some clear ones I picked up earlier that day, while helping a friend clean his shop. The color green is calm. This means to not get worried, but to use the green safety glasses.
Later in the morning, I saw in my mind, a image of a bunch of round steel balls; rock balls or marbles on a straight smooth highway. The balls were big in comparison to the road. Later I saw a black box open, and there was a half-smoked joint and some cigarettes in there. This was a warning to watch out for the bad habits. The box also was like a plastic videotape box that snaps shut, and is similar to a square coffin.
The one about the balls on a road could mean that it is good to be getting out and exercising more, but I'm not sure. The balls could be this story rolling.
A few days ago I was eating greasy hamburgers and was worried about the grease. That night I dreamed of putting pieces of lean chunks of meat into a deep tube of water. I packed the meat to the top of the tube, and then sipped the water. It tasted like tomato sauce, but watery. I picked a piece of meat out and fed it to a cat with big teeth open. The cat was the same skinny black cat I fed, and always see hunting for rodents in the big field. I also had just read a book about how there is a central black column that runs through the center of a flying saucer, and has something to do with the power system.
Nov. 4, 1994
The day before I was thinking of writing a book. That night I dreamed of motorcycle riding on a rough track. At first it was a smooth road, and then went over big jumps, barely making it without wrecking. There was a guy on the ground who was hurt, and I stopped and asked if he was OK. He had a sprained or broken finger, and had just wrecked. He seemed all-right, so I kept going.
Then I saw, what was like a battery in a wax sealed covering that was broken, and was stuck on the end of my little finger. Later I saw what seemed to be a eclipse of the sun. I barely saw a ring of light around the upper edge. This must mean to go ahead and try to write a better book on the computer, even though I can barely type. The battery on the finger means I have the power to type. (See Oct.16) This also explains the guy with the broken finger who would be OK after the rough ride.
The sun being blotted out by the moon, means that the gospel is being suppressed by the new prophets, that have come with a new message to blot out the old. Also, I had just recently been thinking of an eclipse expected in Europe somewhere; and at the last eclipse in Mexico, there were a bunch of flying saucers that appeared and were videotaped. I saw it on TV the other night. This is symbolic of the bible saying: "In the end times, the sun (old gospel) will not shine."

ONCE WE WERE ALIENS AND STRANGERS
A week ago I was itching from what could have been mites in my bed. This continues to occur when I go to bed. On the first night of this itching, I imagined a bathtub or shower floor. There was a drainage pipe with steel bars which prevented objects from going down. This means to wash my sheets, because mites were living in them.
Last Sunday was a good day because I didn’t get into any major arguments. The first church I visited was the other big Baptist church south of town. I arrived at bible study, and listened as the preacher talked about "Saul on the road to Damascus," and how the bright light from heaven converted him. Right then, I got nervous and wanted to speak about my encounter with the light that got me etc.; and a person whom I had told earlier, while in the church kitchen getting coffee, looked at me as if worried and afraid I would speak. I waited a while, and the preacher came to a verse that said: "Once you were aliens and strangers;" and he even made a joke about aliens; as if he had heard weird stories on TV. I knew the time was right, and raised my hand and said that I had been contacted by aliens and they were from God. He said “Very interesting,” and continued with the study. He seemed positive.
Later an elder who overheard, wanted to speak with me. We had a long talk, and he was very interested and believed. He said he suspected that it was of God, and had heard of other similar odd stories floating around.
Later I went to another church down the street, and the elder didn't believe it, and said it was Satan.
Then I went to a Presbyterian church that was just getting out; the preacher sounded interested, and said" What are you going to do with this?" I said “What are you going to do with it?; the ball’s in your hands now; and just remember how Jesus felt.” That was kind of smart-aleck, but it just ended this way. A little old really nice lady first talked with me, and when I told her, she started laughing, like it was to be expected or something.
Later I went to the monastary and talked for a hour and a half with Father Bonaface, trying to convince him. I went over all the facts about parallel dimensions and hybrid babies, and left him a stack of books on the subject; because he said he'd read anything I gave him. He thought I was imagining it, and said "God wouldn't take your free will." I tried to explain how they come to you as a baby, and they reinforce the relationship off and on while you grow up; and all this was buried in the subconscious; and now they released all this, and that is why I'm so dedicated to them. They are like my long lost family, and people just don't understand how much love and dedication I have for these people; I can't even remember what they look like. It is a emotional bond. I just told him the truth.

FOREVER YOURS Nov. 5, 1994
Woke up this morning in a dream, and was singing “Forever yours, forever yours; you are mine, and I'm forever yours.” In the dream, my voice was sounding so good, and I was proud of such a pure tone. My old friend, Don, who was also in the dream, was impressed. I awoke to find the song playing on the radio, and my words in the dream were lip-sinked to the song. They have done this before, and I know it was from them. Also, yesterday I had wanted to tell Don about them, and even had thought of looking him up.
Nov. 6, 1994
I was debating on how to write the book the day before, and was at the library trying to learn the computer. My sister has typed my notes so far, and it's costing too much; plus I haven't learned to type and run a computer. One can do anything if one desires, and I desire.
That night, there was a vague vision of what I thought was a video cassette. Before this, when I first went to bed, I saw a image of a lady sitting at a computer’s video screen. (I had even seen a similar lady the day before at the library.) On the screen was a coiled-up snake in a square spiral pattern. I was afraid it might mean my story would only bring evil. The snake is also a sign of life giving force, but at the time I felt it was a bad sign.
Then came a dream I couldn't remember, but knew it was very important, in that it was about my story being on video. I hadn’t realized I could do this, and was thinking only of a book. God was saying to go ahead and make a video, or book. I lay awake and thought “Yea, others have done this.” It would be a different process, but I could make a model of the temple I walked in, and talk about it. A little after this, I saw what looked like a thin laser beam in a black box type machine; then right were this red wire-horizontal beam was; there appeared a black "pen" laying in the beam's path.
Was thinking they might be saying, that this is how they beam information to your brain from the other side, or dimension; and to convert that to writing. They might be saying to use the high technology of the laser to refine the story. So far I have only used the pen. I was also studying about laser printers a few days before this.
Later awoke from a dream of a pornographic picture of a woman and a man that was just semi-sexual. Another person was there, and I was embarrassed at the fact that sex can seem gross, but only if you have a negative attitude. Right after seeing the two pictures of male and female sex organs; I awoke to a vision of what I thought was the insides of a video machine again; only much clearer and with a yellow light, and very complicated looking. It must mean I should create my story on video or laser printer.
Later had a strange dream of doing battle with a bottle, or was being tempted and drinking, and then remembered I promised to quit. Was craving pot in another dream, and feeling very upset because I didn’t get a good puff, and wanted more. Then realized I had also promised not to be doing that anymore.
Dreamed my brother and I were driving to the library. On the way, we saw two cute girls with large breasts in tight sweaters standing in front of a house, who smiled as if flirting. A scarred young muscular guy with a missing hand was walking back up the road towards the girls. Than had a vision of a battery core, like a black rod surrounded by yellow light. (See Nov. 4)
The light is the truth, and opposite from darkness. Black means power, and yellow poison: as in men in black, and yellow pus from a infected wound.
The role of the snake is the destroyer and the creator: in that you must die from the old, and be born anew. A sword on the churches will poison the word. God’s word is like a double-edged sword: it cuts both ways. It's the tribulation, and things are different now. Some of the double meanings I didn't understand until later; and while editing the story, have found places that don't fit later ideas, and so have added the later meanings: as in what "black and yellow stands for. It stands for both good and bad; as in "Man that's bad dude!;" Bad like good. The rules have changed.

BACK TO CHURCH
Today I went to the big church near Burger King, and spoke for at least a hour with a few guys. I told them the whole story; but in the end they surprised me by saying off the wall things like “Do you worship God?” I said “I’ve only been talking for a hour to you about God.” The other guy said “Satan comes as the deceiver.” After giving all the evidence, and explaining that its happening to many people; he actually said “I believe you believe it, but I don’t; are you trying to tell me that you're Christ?" I said "I'm just telling you what happened, and all contactee's are a type of Christ, because they know the father."
Later I went to a small church. When first there I heard moaning and clacking sticks, and it scared me at first. They were all wailing in strange tongues, and I thought they were faking it, the way one lady kept saying “Thank you Jesus,” over and over. The preacher was screaming once; saying "You're a dead man... your a dead man in Christ." After service I tried to convert the whole place of nine people. The preacher said " The Holy Spirits not in you!" I said “The Holy Spirits not in you!” He said “ I'm going to have to do what you said others have done; and show you the door." He was "nice though. I said that they (aliens) told me to tell all the churches. One lady said "I don't see a peacefulness in you. I said "I feel very at peace, and what do you expect trying to tell people this and having to argue constantly." I accused her of trying to find some angle to nail me on a cross. We were friendly when parting, and they said to come back. I gave it my best effort, but they wouldn’t believe.
I told them to just think how Jesus was treated when he said "I know the father." I told how my experience has made it easier to give up unhealthy habits, like smoking and drinking, and has done nothing but good.
There was another preacher there, who said he’d been preaching for 40 years,(just like the other one at the Baptist church) and believed that what I had to say was not of God. I said “I don’t care how long you’ve been a preacher; they are God and you better believe it; I’m not the only one that this has happened to." Told him "You haven’t been watching the signs, or interpreting the book of Revelations correctly.” Sometimes I have to really stick up for myself, and let them have it. They were real friendly when I left.
At the other big fancy church near Burger King, the head preacher appeared not to be interested in the subject, and said he’d never studied about it. He tried to avoid me, and quickly made a excuse to leave and not engage in conversation. This is the church that's roof appears as a big "cross" when seen from the air.
When I first entered the little wailing in tongue's church, the preacher said “It looks like he brought his sword with him;"referring to my bible." It was after the service when I felt I really used the sword, even though they couldn’t believe it. The preacher also asked “When is the last time you used drugs?;” as if to trap me as a crazy. I told him "A few weeks ago, but I have mostly stopped because of help from the aliens, and am trying to not do it." It's always best to be honest, especially in church.
When the preacher said “The Holy Spirit’s not in you,” I said "They only speak to me almost every night in dreams and visions.” That's when I yelled “The Holy Spirit’s not in you!” Then he showed me the door. Some of the preachers are so smart acting. I'm used to controversy and argument, because my dad used to drink and cause weird scenes where your adrenaline gets flowing. Also, having been in contact with aliens, there is a buried trauma and a unburied one; plus a crazy fighting childhood gives an anger to fight; along with a love and dedication for them who saved me. One could call it a cruel trick, but I don't really care: I say this sometimes when people say "You think you're important and are on a ego trip. It is actually a blessing, and a honor. I used to be shy and always worried people didn't like me, and no girl would want me; but so what. Shy is really repressed anger, and people see that, and it scares them away. Now I like myself, and am out of my shell. Sometimes I feel really mad, and know it's not right to hate some people. When your so exposed to rejection, it has a opposite effect, and you actually feel good to get trashed again. People who grow up in abusive relationships feel comfortable in a struggle. If it wasn't a weird scene, I would feel let down. If you love yourself you can love others. They told me that.

THREE MICE Nov. 8, 1994
Awoke about midnight, and thought about the little church where everyone was wailing and chanting, or speaking in tongues. A little after that, I saw in a image, a piece of bread that was broken in half and folded slightly, laying in a parking lot where a car would park between the lines. I had used a piece of bread that evening at a friend’s house to wipe my plate, and also had been in a parking lot that day. I thought this scene was related to the church, except that the blacktop was different.
After this I saw a foundation wall with rebar that was on blacktop, and in the process of being built. Then there was something about a door that I heard shut. I didn’t smoke that day, even though I was very tempted; and was proud of that.
Had also watched a sad romance movie, and later that evening read a book about UFO abductions. The Villa Bolas case. He was a South American farmer that claimed to of been seduced by a beautiful woman aboard a flying saucer. After having sex, she smiled and pointed to her belly, and then toward the heavens. Later the saucer took off.
Later that night I had a cartoon-like dream where three mice were standing on the loading door of a big ship of some sort; maybe a mother-ship. In the night distance I could see three or so, flying saucers approaching, bobbing and zigging towards us. As they came nearer, I could see a cartoon-like pussycat that was standing up on two hind legs; and he had that look, like Sylvester. I could see him through the transparent dome of the one saucer that was nearest. Then the three saucers faded back in the distance. It was as if I was watching the scene from behind the three mice on the doors edge, peering out into the empty darkness of space.
Later, dreamed of a black bear that was coming slowly at me, and I got a shovel and was preparing to whack at its head. This dream kind of faded out without fear.
Nov. 10, 1994
The evening before, I watched the film about aliens: “Fire in the Sky”
Later that night, dreamt I was picking up parts to a cars brake system, off the left side of the road; and then met the guy who the parts belonged to, and gave them to him. When I had first started to pick the parts up, I heard a "beep" in my ear, and knew it was them. (This was in the dream.) While talking to the man on the left, I saw a face in the night sky to the west, that looked like Donald Duck with the big eyes; it was in color, and similar to the alien head I saw on the film the night before. I said “Look” to the guy; but just as he turned around, it went away. It was a cartoon face of Donald Duck in the sky; with yellow bill, blue head, maybe some red, and black and white eyes.

HALF EATEN WALNUT Nov. 11, 1994
That evening while laying in bed, I thought of the preacher who told me to never come back, and then saw in a image, a cracked half-eaten walnut that appeared to be broken into by a animal. (I had picked nuts that day.) Later at night I awoke and turned the radio up because of a dog. I dozed some, and awoke later to a image of a dog with a live bird in its mouth, and then dropped it. The bird then ran over and jumped on it's back. (The day before, I rode my bike down in the valley, and had seen a bird standing on the back of a horse, by the walnut tree, and had thought it very amazing that they were such good friends.) Later saw a image of myself picking up nuts.
Later awoke out of a dream, where I was brushing sand off a purple bed, (I had done this exact thing to my bed the day before when I was crying.) and I was crying about them, with such a lost love feeling, of a very emotional break of loosing them. Then I saw a naked woman in a sexual pose. They are saying to focus my love on a person in this world.
The day before, I had cried about them, which I haven't done for awhile. When they first came back, in Jan. 1993, I used to cry as if a baby, because I knew them a long time ago, but we were separated. That is why I'm so dedicated to them. This is what most people don't understand. They bond with you when your a baby. In my case my mother and I didn't get along from a very early age, and that is why I bonded with them. It was a perfect situation for a future dedicated servant to spread the word. Either they heard me crying and came, or they already knew they would pick me. My relationship was buried on a subconscious level all my life, until they released it.
Later that same morning, I saw a sun that was just rising into the sky.
Also, the night before, I was thinking of going to the library and learning the computer, and then thought I heard a faint ringing low intensity "beep", and after that a faint spot of light.

THE BABOONS Nov. 13, 1994
The night before last, I was care-taking a house and got very drunk for the first time in two weeks. That morning I was watching cable TV and a show about baboons was on. The people trapped them and they were taken to a better location to save their lives, because farmers were going to kill them. They were raiding crops, and getting into trouble. The people gave them a medical check up, and had them under a spell with drugs to work on them. The people let them go in their new home and used radio transmitters to track and study them in the field.
I was noticing the baboons narrow set eyes and thought how my eyes were also narrow somewhat. Later early that morning, I had a amazing vision of a baboon’s face that was changing from a person to a baboon and was flashing back and forth as if trying to become one or the other. I could see the long nose of the baboon flashing off and on the humans. It was like a animated cartoon, and similar to the other visions of changing faces, that had a pretty rapid speed of changing, which was just slow enough to see each face clearly, before changing again. Then a little later, I see a odd human-like, but similar to a baboon's face, that was staring toward the sky, as if sitting on a bleacher or ballpark bench. (This is similar to a ancient Chinese picture on a lampshade I saw recently at Henry's shop. It is of a monkey sitting and staring out at a long tailed dragon in the sky.) I realized that the two stories are similar.
Later in a image while laying awake that morning, I saw a small tree growing in a black circular pot, like at the center of the spokes of a wheel, with four spokes. 34A.jpg (2951 bytes)( Figure 34A.) Also saw a image of a bowl of salad or vegetables, a little earlier. I still had a headache from drinking.

IS THIS JAMES ? Nov. 14, 1994
Last night I dreamt of a girl who seemed to like me, but I wasn’t attracted to her, and hoped she’d go away. After that, had a vision of a baby crying, that was just a partial picture of the lower half of its face. (There was a girl I was going to ask out the day before, but didn't.)
Also, the night before while laying awake reading, I thought of once a long time ago, when I said “Look out for the Boogie man.” Then I thought about how they might direct a beam of energy in your brain to make you forget when they’ve come. Right then I heard a ‘beep” in my ear and said “Jeeze, it’s you... hi Jeeze,” and was so glad they beeped me right than. This is just another example of how they speak; and it always catches you off guard, and is proof they can monitor and read my mind.
Nov. 15, 1994
Saw a image that was zooming in on seeing a child’s feet with black shoes on, that were running away. At first, I thought this meant to walk with the innocence of a child, or that I am like a child; but later I saw a line of kids at a bus stop or entrance to the college, and thought it was a sign I should participate in raising a child or even to write a book. Was at the collage yesterday, and had a panic feeling that I feel sometimes; like I have to get away, but am not sure what it is. It is probably part of a buried encounter, and they are saying: " I'm running. I am also one of the students waiting to get on the bus. I'm not exactly sure about the message, but am learning; that's it, I'm learning.
Later was in a dream where I was on the phone, and said “I want to talk with Jeeze,” and a lady said “Let me get Jesus.” I waited a while and soon a guy answered. I couldn't believe his name was Jesus, and said “Is this James?; I was taken by aliens.” He had trouble believing , and we started to argue. Then I had that mild floating feeling, that means a vision is coming; but was not there.

RED BELL PEPPERS Nov. 16, 1994
A strange dream of a old friend who was into drugs, and I was smoking. There were vegetables on the table, and red bell peppers cut fancy with spikes all the way around, like when you stuff them. I asked him if I could have one.
Right before I awoke, was a image of someone stepping into my trailer. I felt the trailer rock, but no one was there.
Nov. 17, 1994
A strange dream of being in a large school and many people were lined up and going through a door. Later, was walking down a highway and a guy walking the other way approached me and I was afraid of him. Later he turned and we went to his place. His friend showed me his shop where he painted small rocks and was selling them at very high prices. I commented that the artwork was very nice and the other guy smoked a pipe with me. We walked outside and I noticed a very large boardwalk that covered the area.
I left, walking up the hill towards the monastery, and the road was muddy and wet. Saw two guys on motorcycles. They stopped, and the dad was teaching his son to smoke. I wanted to get a ride, but needed room for my tall bike, that I noticed would fold up. One car passed in the dark and then I heard a truck come sputtering around the bend. It was a big water truck with plumbing things on the roof. A roll of pipe, fittings in a box, some clamps. The truck was a big diesel that stopped at a clearing, broadside. I realized that was what I needed... to hook up the water system in my trailer. I have been putting this off for so long.
The day before, a lady tried to run me off the road when on my bicycle. This night I had a dream that the head monk from the monastery was driving a white van up a mountain road at very high speed and was scaring me by driving off the edge in snow. I was terrified he would slide off, but he just kept doing it. This was similar to the lady trying to scare me. I had a hard time forgiving this lady, and was also arguing with the monk, trying to get him to believe my UFO story. He is very old and so used to the orthodox Christian way of life, and not willing to change or adopt a new religious view.
Nov. 18, 1994
Had one image this morning, after thinking about writing a book, and what people might think. Right after this I saw a mammoth log, like the gigantic redwood tree that had been cut down recently up the road. The tree was laying in the driveway, across the entrance about halfway down, that led to the old mill in Calpella that's mostly closed down now, except for a small operation. Could this mean that this story is going to be hard to write better, or for people to cut up?

MORE LIGHTS IN THE SKY
Went to the library today and was studying how to run the computer. When I came home I saw some lights in the sky and realized it was a airplane. Was thinking of another time when I saw the blinking light in the north, and thought about the theory of how they can make you see the object by altering the magnetic waves in your mind, and can create a virtual reality. Right after that, I went back in my trailer, and a little later looked back out in the same general area toward the north, and saw a lite red blinking light that seemed to be a possible aircraft but was much brighter. I became excited and tried to track it with the stationary shadows of trees on the horizon of the far mountain top. It didn’t seem to be moving, and I thought possibly it was coming at a straight line towards me, and that's why no movement was seen. When I realized it was like the light I saw before, I yelled "Jeeze... saucers," and was so excited. It was there twenty seconds or more, and then it just went slowly down a little, and disappeared behind the mountain.
I can't believe that this is the second time I've seen a light in the sky recently. Both times this happened, I had been thinking about the subject. The first time I had been talking that day about the green lights people had seen, and this time it was also on my mind. (See Nov. 2)
What is unusual, is that, I looked over there and saw it, as if looking for something then. I get the feeling that they let you see it, and even make you want to look at the time.
The red light that dropped behind the mountain, moved down like a helicopter would, on the top of the old black burnt hill to the north; we call bald mountain. It is re-grown now. What else could that light be? There was no sound with any of the lights.
I have seen a stationary red light on a northwest hill three times in the past, but that was a half year ago, and I wasn't sure if it was a car's tail light or what. I saw that light three times over a period of a week or two, and have never seen it since. That was in the west, and way up on a mountain with a rarely used road; and the red light was still. This happened three times. This was the first time I saw unusual lights. Thinking back, I now feel they were preparing me to get used to the idea, and what is possible.

THE SNAKE
This morning I was thinking bad thoughts about people and how money was evil. Right then, saw a stick in my wood box as being a snake, and it frightened me. I took it as a omen or warning not to think bad thoughts.
A few days ago I was worried about my wood stove getting wet and rusty. The next morning, had a image of another stove I have that is larger with a rusted bottom full of holes, and I see this stove half full of water. I’m puzzled at this image. Maybe it means my life is half over, or the world is falling apart but is really very stable and can hold water. Irrational fears of not being like normal people, married; or the fear of women not liking me, or my living conditions. The stove is a place of transformation, and water the symbol of life or the word. A stove full of holes only appears to not be unable to hold water. Maybe it means, you can see your life as either half empty, or half full.
Dreamed once I had a gray beard and feared I was old. Awoke to find it wasn’t true.
Nov. 19, 1994
Dreamed of a girl I liked. It was a sexual dream, and there was a buzzing in my ear when I thought to try to get to know her. Had a thought of arguing with her, then saw a image of a silver spike embedded in pavement. Thought this a bad sign, if I had that attitude. Later saw a snake, and thought it meant something evil, but then saw a bench to sit on shaped like a curvy root snake shape. Realized the snake means life also, and in dealing with sex, there is both life and death. This must be because birth and death are opposites, and the same.
The symbol of the snake in birth and death is very old in much native and ancient mythology. There is also the symbol of the eagle and the snake together: meaning the highest and lowest together as a team: God's and man’s energy combined, joining forces to help each other.

THE CALMING WAVE Nov. 20, 1994
Early that evening, saw a image of a motorcycle trying to turn around in a road, and it couldn’t stop, and almost went off. I knew that I had to fix the front brake on my motorcycle, and will do that before driving it again.
Later I was afraid of the rain and wanted to pull my chimney inside and put the tin over the hole, but was too lazy; and asked Jeeze... “will it rain?” Then saw a image of water by the door and on the floor, and still I was too lazy to believe it. I saw drops sprinkling on clothes and a image of myself taking a leak, and knew they were telling me about the rain starting, but I kept looking at the chimney hole, and there was no rain. Suddenly it began to rain heavily. I should have believed.
Later an image of myself in a store buying some milk maybe. One girl at the counter had a wall of junk blocking the entrance, but the other two were open. I stepped in line and right then awoke from half sleep, to a vision of a rectangle with a yellow light in it, which I thought was maybe milk, but was confused. After trying to figure it out for a while, I then saw another rectangle that looked like printed money, with a coin spinning end over end in the center. I now realize that the reason the girl had the barricade up was because she didn't want to serve me. I had milk because I’m afraid I won’t have enough, and that’s why I’m worried about spending money; like a baby is with food. I had even been trying to get to know a girl at a store, but was worried at the high prices, and if I could even live a lifestyle that was good enough to have her find me worthy. I have to use money for what it is meant for; which is to spend. I'm already thrifty enough.
This morning while laying in bed, I was thinking some bad thoughts about people. Right after this, I see a picture of my trailer, that is flattened out narrow, and then normal sized again. This must mean I should not have such a narrow view of the behavior of others.
Slept in late and thought over whether I had offended people by being too worried about money without realizing it. After that, I was seeing undulating waves of light, dark, blackish, purple behind the eyes, like a slowly breaking wave on a beach, spreading across my vision, with bright purple at it edges, and changing hue from dark grayish black to lighter gray; and sometimes a dark bright purple will form in the center, or at the edges, around this undulating wave; bubbles in slow-moving bloops across my vision. A aura picture of electrical charge, that has bristly edges, that seem to melt on the edge or toward the center. They have done this before with blue, but in a different way. This is a calming hypnotizing effect.

GO BACK TO THE ROCK Nov. 21, 1994
Last night I heard on the radio: “His word shall be spoken by his servants;” after which I see a image of being in a room where sunlight shone brightly through a window and reflected off the floor with such warmth; and at the same time it seems, I had just set a folded umbrella up against the right wall in between the studs. This could mean that the father’s light is entering the room and warming it.
Early this morning when first awakening, I heard a hammer noise in my head, like somebody is building a house. I know it meant I should finish building on the trailer project; and maybe is tied in with the image of last night, because it is true my living conditions will never support a girlfriend.
Nov. 22, 1994
That day I had smoked pot at a friends again, and was sorry. Later that night was a image of a big square red rock that I have, that is a chair. This must mean I should go back to the solid rock foundation they gave me, and to sit on it and use it's strength.
Nov. 23, 1994
Saw a stack of white poker chips laying on their side in a holder. Thought it meant I was holding a lot of chips, and was similar to the image of the massive redwood log laying in the old mills driveway, of Nov. 18,1994. Later saw a image of a computer screen with a gray-textured pattern, and I'm inserting a yellow section in the upper left corner. Later I see two small yellow chocolate candy bars with a band of red writing at a angle across the top, and I ate one. Yellow represents light, truth, or poison. Also the red writing is similar to the two red stripes of earlier dreams that symbolizes Christ's shed blood for the church. Just now while editing this, (The date now is Feb. 5,1995) and realizing the meaning of the red stripe for the first time: I see a small bright spot in the center of the computer screen for a second.
Later, I awoke and had a very wonderful feeling overtake me. I knew it was them, because they can induce emotions, and it was that feeling of love.
Nov. 24, 1994
There is a new way they speak to me now, that is similar to the beep. When I think of something relevant, or about them, they will answer me with a bright white or slightly blue white spot that appears in the vision when my eyes are closed. This has also happened while they are open, and lasts for a second or two. Twice I've seen it in the northern blue sky, and once out a south window. I just saw it a moment ago, while editing.

A RED GLOWING LIGHT IN THE FIREPLACE Nov. 25, 1994
Dreamed there was a red glowing light in the fireplace, and it seemed people in the room disappeared, and than a sheep appeared in the fireplace. There was a swirling in the fireplace that came down the chimney, and was part of the glowing red bright light. It was a transformation process that reminded me of the way Santa comes. I think the sheep was gone then, but am not sure.
There was a guy in the room then, who came over to me as I was working on a lathe.
Later I was with a girl in the parking lot behind the mortuary and was picking up nice rocks and saving them on the back of my scooter. There was a corner rock wall that somebody knocked down; a girl that I really loved was there, and I was hugging her. She said “Let me hug you,” and was behind me with her arms wrapped around my chest. I put my arms back around her as she was behind me, and right then I felt a mild undulating floating feeling that lasted a long time. This was from the aliens or Jeeze.
Later I was thinking about them, and saw a sphere or ball. Later I was thinking about, how at Thanksgiving last night, I had talked about it, (visitation) and saw how many people are now studying the subject. We were talking about a show by National Geographic on UFO’s in December. Right then I see a image in my minds eye, of a screen of a computer or TV, and as if the screen was torn in half; and as the two sides parted, a perfect orb or ball like the earth covered the whole screen. This must mean “The veil has been rent-in-twain, and the new covenant has been revealed."
Also had a vague vision that night, of a room and a window with a frame like a cross in it, and also a chair.
Sometimes before a vision, there is a undulating feeling that gets you ready to try and see the vision.
There was a job I was dreading the day before, of having to remodel a old dusty kitchen in a house I sometimes care-take for a friend. There was even a picture of Paul Newman that was taped over a broken window, that I thought looked a little like me. This is how far out the riddles can get, and is proof they know all. This also reminds me of that milk commercial where the guy's in hell, and a chair is there. He is eating a cookie, and then goes to the refrigerator and finds many empty cartons of milk. He throws a fit, and then asks "Where am I."
Later I felt like I was urinating while sleeping, but wasn't, and didn't need to. They can even give you this feeling in this area. Right after this a little, someone on the radio said “The gospel will go out into all the world.”
The night before last, I felt the undulating rocking feeling, and my whole body was overcome by a wonderful euphoric love feeling. I became slightly sexually excited and felt my prostrate gland pumping as if in orgasm, but without all the sexual feeling. It was just that weird feeling like a bilge pump going. This also happened later that morning, and was rather odd because I had not been thinking erotic thoughts. This rarely happens. At first I thought they may have used me for breeding that night, but I didn’t have a headache or nauseous feeling.
The night before, I was telling them that I'm going to write a book and get this message out no matter what. Maybe this was them telling me they loved me and wanted me to impregnate the world. They can actually stimulate the prostrate pump, and make it twitch, maybe by beaming electromagnetic or other waves to the area, or brain. They can extract sperm, and you wouldn't remember a thing. I said earlier how they let me relive a part of the process. One morning I felt my abdomen vibrating like jello with a sort of electric feeling, and instantly became sexually excited without even a erotic thought. They let me know this is how it is done, and I am eternally grateful for this and all else.

JEEZE'S SECRETS
They speak in symbolic images, using information from the previous day mostly; or even longer. They can even dig something out of your past that you haven't thought of in years. Sometimes you can misread the riddle and learn something about yourself, and after a day or so realize the true meaning. Sometimes they will give you another clue later that night or even the next; or a later day if you still can't figure it out, and had missed the true message. They also give psychic dreams.
They can flash a picture into my head of a old scene from my past. A example is: I am thinking of a girl I'd like to get to know, and how easy it is to fall in love. Right then a old memory of, "when I saw a unexplored section of the river, from where I had always passed by it from the road," just popped into my mind; and I haven't thought of this in a long time, but had always wanted to go there. Or I will have a certain nostalgic feeling, and at that instant, a scene in a old mining town that I was at once, will just appear in my head. (I missed the previous thought connection on this one; but the scene was when I walked past the old mine shacks on the hill, and saw the pond below, and thought of how they had dredged the gold out of the heaps of gravel, and used water to wash it.) Some of these scenes go way back in my past. It took me awhile to connect that: (each time I would have a scene from the past flashed into my mind, it was directly connected in a symbolic way to what I was "just" thinking.) This is complex to explain, and I give further examples and explain it more later.
This is another form of speaking that is similar to the "beep" in the ear, where you reflect back on what had "just" happened, or was thought "before" the beep (or image.) It is the same method used in the dream images, except they actually use past events from your life, and will match them up in symbolic form to a immediate event, (while you're awake; but could also be when dozing.) It took a while to recognize they were doing this, and I missed many riddles but then finally realized it was another form of speaking. I always wondered why these old memories would appear, but didn't connect the very subtle symbolic connection. This is proof that they can actually isolate or retrieve any past event and even some future, and run it through a computer and replay it back at a specific appropriate time; and you receive a riddle, if you can recognize it.
It could be something a person said, or a thought of mine along with a scene in the real world; something on TV, or the radio. It’s this “reflect back on” process, that's used with the "beep, the small bright spot in the eye, and the memory image scenes. These are three ways of being spoken to while awake during the day. (Later there would be a fourth way of speaking, that is by telepathic thought; and seeming to be my own thought.)
The bright spot is usually white with eyes open, and has been white, red, or blue, with eyes closed. The white light can be as little as a pin point to as big as a pencil, and tinged with blue at the edges.
As I said before: There are three frequencies of the "beep" in the ear. A low, medium, and high; and is almost always in the left ear, but can also be the right, or both at once. A odd "whoosh" like rushing changing tone vacuum sound, and feeling in the head, and even a low humm after the rushing once, has been heard. A whoosh hollow thunderclap also has been heard a few times. Once in the library when almost finished writing the letter project; and once when at the outhouse. Sometimes there is a static that gets louder, and then ends in a buzz, and fades out; almost like a radio changing frequency in my head.
As I said earlier: warm heat lamp feelings on a certain area of the skin such as the arm, has been felt. This happened twice; once before they came, and once later; just as did the two thunderclaps. I didn't know it was them, the first time. This was when I worked at the gas station before I even knew them.
Another example of the memory flashback is: I remembered my brother and I arguing on a trip we took together where we had stopped at a ranger’s station, and I was upset at not being able to have my side of the story recognized. I saw this scene flash into my mind, just as I was struggling with another "present" similar situation.
They must have a time warp way to see into the future, and can respond in a second. It’s like the computer goes over all available data and comes up with the most appropriate response in a split second. They can read your brain wave patterns; and might have a implant in connection with a monitor system. They can answer to a thought, even while speeding down the freeway. A loud "beep" in the ear can be heard over the noise of a motorcycle engine, as I mentioned earlier.
I remember the "grid pattern" when I went on the virtual reality saucer ride on the first night back on Jan. 20,1993. This grid surrounded the “God Head Body” complex as far as the eye could see in all directions. Maybe this is similar to the new satellite tracking system used today, to find exact location readings for ships at sea.
They can also open a window out of the corner of your eye, "while your eyes are open," and can put another scene in there, like you would a caption box on a computer screen or TV. They did this when I saw the purple alien’s head out of the trailing edge of my right eye while looking out over the large lake. This was the only time it was stationary, and like a added picture; but I’ve seen small lights moving across the ceiling, and the black rat shape running under the stove when I thought of having a smoke. This happened twice, and is like your eye is chasing it as it tries to move out of the field of vision. And now I've seen blinking lights in the sky that go out, and also drop behind the mountain. One yellow, the other, red. Also saw the red light on the mountain three times, earlier.
There was even one time when I looked at the window of my door and for a split second, thought I saw the face of a typical "gray" alien peering in. It was so quick and vague, that I doubted if I really saw it. This happened right after thinking about what the lady in Willits had told me, and I wondered why I hadn't seen one also. She is the lady who said she saw a gray standing over, and has had babies taken on Valentines day.
They must alter your perception with electromagnetic waves that are channeled into your brain from the other side. This explains people who claim to of seen apparitions, or ghosts. It is like we are the computer, and the program can be altered, as if the pixels in the eye are the screen on a computer. It is like you are plugged into a computer, and they put on a teach and reform helping mode.
Some people ask “Do you trust the aliens?” I say “After all I tell about how they helped me and how I’ve known them since a child and cried and cried about them after they unlocked my subconscious; and all the memories came back of how they loved me, and I loved them like a child, and bonded with them like they were my family: and now you ask me "do you trust them?" I take it personally when people say they are evil forces who have no right to do this. I would do anything for them, and trust them totally. It's this world I have to be careful of. I'm learning to not take offense when people say things against them, because I know they can't understand.
People have said: “Yea, but they scared you when they got you with the light, and you also wanted to strike out at them.” The fighting angry side must be necessary, and I had this attitude towards them, before and after they scared me with the light. This (abduction with the light) was buried in my subconscious until a few months "after" the first major encounter, when they made me relive it (the light) also. In this way they weave all necessary parts together on a conscious and subconscious level, and overlap the different factors in a program that is the best to adjust to. They were using this weaving of different emotions when they did therapy on me. This must be an "anointing," or "christening" process like the story of the prodigal son. This also explains why one must come as a child, before you can enter the kingdom of heaven.

Maybe from the time I was born, or soon after, they have predestined my life, as claimed by others also; and you realize this later in life, when they make you aware of the need to spread the word about the Kingdom of God coming on earth. Have you heard that the unpardonable sin is to turn your back on the Holy Spirit? I am so dedicated that the thought has never entered my mind. I am still so amazed that even after all this time, I still can't stop talking about it. This must be what is meant by "you will receive the power and glory, or the keys to the kingdom," but you must suffer for it. That is what is meant by "you will receive Satan as a buffer, least you become too proud." This is all the ridicule you will receive, and it is the Christ syndrome. I believe they have used me for breeding when I was younger, but didn't realize it then. They have also convinced me that I have more recent kids, and that is another gift that is part of this. (Once a while back, maybe a little over a year after they first came, I had an image of a young child in a car seat type of chair, and I was on it's left, and it on my right. I had the feeling they were telling me I have a child, even though it was only in this dream image state.) Is this what is meant by "the remnant" of God's people that were used for seed? Are we the ones written in the lamb's book of life; the 144000 of Gods elect? Is the new Jerusalem related to the breeding program? The churches need to study this subject more.

RIP OR VIP Nov. 26, 1994
Last night I awoke in a mild floating, and had a vision of what looked like a large block of cement. On it were inscriptions that were three big letters, and two smaller ones underneath. Maybe NIV, or VNI, and under that were two initials. Maybe it meant RIP, or VIP, and with my initials under it. I had that feeling. When they give a dream with a message in writing, it is always misspelled or vague. This has happened a few times; except once there was a Bible verse that was clear, which was (Luke 11.)
I think this square block meant that I am dead in my faith, and dedication for the cause, because the night and day before, I was writing very many pages on it and was even going overboard with repetition.

Over the course of my life there are several odd occurrences that stand out. The earliest was once when about nine or ten and standing on the porch of the little red house, and I saw a giant fireball heading north in an arc, with a tail trailing behind. It was evening light with no stars in the sky. I thought it crashed in the mountain, and ran and told my dad.
I also carved a Martian with antennas on its head, and a zig zag line running between the two antenna, on a wooden beam on the same porch. I don't know why I did this exactly, but it is still there. There was talk of Martians and saucers back then, and even a show on TV called "My Favorite Martian, and Lost in Space;" also cartoons, and comic books. This was during the sixties.
When about twenty seven or eight, I had the psychic dream about a red rock. The next day I went back out and was digging again, and dug up the same type of rock, and then remembered the dream. At the time I was amazed, and told people of it. Somehow I thought it a rare coincidence, and didn't know it was from them. We were digging holes to plant grapes at the time.
When around age 17, I was watching the show Mission Impossible on TV with my family. While sitting there during a commercial, and most people weren't there, I saw another TV screen that was semi-transparent, like a ghost, that appeared in front of me, and was in mid air between myself and the other TV. There were two red static wavy lines going horizontal across a hazy blue screen, and moving slowly up, from the bottom to top. It was just a transparent two dimensional TV screen that I could actually see right through. This lasted maybe five seconds. I told my Dad about it, and he didn't see it. Now I know what an apparition must be, but haven't really seen anything ghost like since. On that same night, I remember seeing out of the corner of my left eye, what seemed to be a lit room that was downstairs, like a stairway led to a reddish room with a light down there; and this was so real. It was like a pool table room, or a table with a light down there that was the same color as the fake vinyl reddish tile design as the floor of our house. It was just a play of light on the floor; a play on the reflection of light off the worn textured floor, I thought; but I recall that this happened right after seeing the ghost TV screen, and believe it was an altered reality.
I told my dad about this also, but I don’t think he realized it as real. In his later years, he may have suspected, because he was reading some on the subject of UFO occurrence, and he mentioned "enigma" a few times, but never really brought it out.
There was another dream when younger, of being inside and climbing the large branches of a very bright red manzanita tree. This was a very lucid dream that stood out as unusual. It was the bright red color of the bark. (This dream happened after a class study about dreaming in school, and the teacher said to have a note pad by the side of the bed to record our dreams.)Thinking back, it appears that red is a common theme; like the red wavy lines moving across the TV screen. The two of them moving next to each other is even similar to the other recent dreams that have two red stripes, (Sept.19, and Nov. 23 1994) and I just realized this for the first time while editing this now. Can you believe this? There is other hidden symbolism in these old dreams and scenes, and it is evident that I was to one day recall these and understand more. I have always been on their list. (I have since realized what "manzanita" means. It is the Spanish word for "little apple." This ties in to a later dream I had, of a split open green apple, with two seeds in it, that felt like a long ago lost forgotten dream.)
Another time when I was a teenager, there was once a ball of what looked like blue lightening that came down or around the chimney, and then traveled down the hallway ceiling. Some of my family saw it, including my Dad, and they were very excited, and claimed it was a rare natural occurrence. Later I think my Dad read about how ball lightning is seen with extraterrestrial occurrence, and he might of suspected. He talked about it a few times, but at that time I didn't know myself.
There was another time back then in my teens when I was around 17, and one night I wanted to sleep outside for some reason. Normally I would never do this. I put my mattress out on the edge of the grape field. That night I had that wonderful spiral feeling where your whole body is just twisting in this slow snail shape, and you feel so chunky, like you are this shape becoming a bigger slow chunky spiral from the inside. I remember on that night, the rumble of a train way down in the valley, that was like when the diesel engines are torquing up and there is that vibrating overtone that you could actually feel. Now when I think back, I could actually feel this low vibrating sound.
I thought it was the rumble of a diesel engine on a train as it headed up the grade. (The Willits grade is the steepest on the entire line in Northern California.) I’ve now heard that in many UFO experiences, there is a low vibrating sound like a washing machine or an electric motor humm.
The spiraling feeling is the last thing you feel before nodding out to sleep, or the first upon awakening; for I also awoke with it. Even at that time, I looked back and realized that this has been a recurring feeling at least five or more times going back in my life, (and at least five or more times since, until the present.) I remember telling my mother that morning, after sleeping in the vineyards: “I had a really cool spiral feeling last night; it feels like you are in a spiral and spinning real slow, and you feel real heavy and chunky and so good to the very center of your body.” I had told her and others about this before, but no one really understood what I meant, and I always regarded it as a real neat kind of dream state. It happened right on the edge between being awake and just going to sleep, and I really treasured that feeling.
Later in life, I built a spiral house and was very much into the nautilus shape, and studied the design in the nautilus sea creature, and in other shapes in nature. This was all from the feeling I used to have. The rock house foundation is still here, and I'm going to make a outdoor rock garden. This same spiral feeling is the one they put me in on the very night they finally came back for good. I was thirty eight and three quarter years old then, and it was like I "knew" them as my family, or long lost friends, and I cried and cried as if a little kid, and said "Why did you leave?" When they left the first night, I said "I want to go with you." I really wanted to leave this world behind. There was such a sorrow that just tore me apart, and that is why I would do anything for these people. It is like a attachment that a child has on a family that it really loved, and that child was torn away, and now all that love is still there. It's a extreme sorrow, and I don't know when we will see each other again; for now I have to stay here and get over this and readjust my life. Like I said: "I don't really remember who or what they look like; it's just on a emotional level that was developed in my subconscious." This one fact is what is so very hard for people to understand. How can you know someone and not know who they are? It is just the way it is. People always say to me: "Who is they;" and all I can say is "I don't know who they are, it's all on a emotional level. It doesn't make sense in this world, but they can keep who they are a mystery for reasons that are necessary. I will always love them and am their servant, and will try to tell the world about my other family. I have a feeling that one day, who they are will be woven into the other pieces.

THINKING BACK AGAIN
There was another time when living up in the woods in a trailer, when I was around age 35. I walked outside one morning, to the smell of a burnt transformer or electric motor, as if the windings had melted. I mentioned this to my father, but didn’t think what it could be. Later I read that, the same smell was associated with UFO encounters.
During this time, I had been drinking and smoking pot, and many mornings I was groggy, but never suspected being visited by them.
One morning, back at my old place, where I now live, there was a white haze everywhere, that I thought was a film on my eyes. In the air, everything had a glazy mist. It took a while to go away. I told my Father about this, and also about the small squiggly silver fish-like spots that moved towards the outer edges of my sight; small dust-like particles in the fluid of my eyes seemed alive like the silver fish insect that runs in a wall; or the way a sperm swims.
I had long migraines off and on during this period, a few years before they made themselves known, and thought this was related to Lyme Disease, but have read that "contactee's" often have headaches.
I also had sleep disorders, staying up until three AM. reading, because I couldn’t sleep, and then would sleep in until noon the next day. This would continue for a week or more, and slowly changed back to normal. This has also happened a few times, after the major encounter. I have read that this happens to contactee's, and the brain does this unconsciously, to avoid a shocking situation. Around this time of insomnia, I felt the spiraling feeling one night, and was glad it still came to me, but was mild compared to others of long ago. At the time I never suspected the feeling was related to them.
These things happened a year or two before they finally came to me consciously. They must have been preparing me in some way, to get ready for eventual contact. When they came, I felt as if somehow I knew them recently, and also from long ago. As I said already: about a year before they became known, I was standing out in the sun working at the gas station one day, and felt the hot spot like a heat lamp on my arm , and another time heard the clash noise in my head, but thought it odd then. This happened sometime around the time I was having the sleep disorders and other symptoms.
Later after they came back, I felt the heat lamp feeling during the day, and the clash thunderclap in my head again while laying in bed at night. It was then that I recalled the earlier times, and realized it was them all along.
After they came back; I mean it was such a shock; and somehow I looked towards the sun as the source of this power that had somehow shone its beam on me. Talk about feeling self-conscious, as if you are being watched; and all this glory they poured on me during the evening. The radio kept playing “He is risen,” and other songs. I knew they were saying “You are Christ;” and I told you how they can put a thought in your head and then have a song answer it on the radio. It was all so amazing to the extreme. I always try to imagine what it would be like for other people, and at the time, thought they must be doing this to others at the same time. I just couldn't believe it was for me only. This is why I feel I have to share this with others. Others can see it the way it was. They were saying I was Christ, if you can believe that. Some might see it as a cruel joke.
That's what they did in the middle of all this trauma and sorrow of being reunited with my long lost family. They just kept pouring it on, and I couldn’t believe this was happening to me, because I had such low self-esteem and a bad image of myself; and here they say you are this glorified person, and it was so amazing that I don’t know if people can understand the way they can induce all emotions and can alter your sense of perception to the point that they can create it in your mind.
It was a reunion that I'll never get over; those three first days. That’s why I worshipped the sun as if it somehow was where the spirit dwelled. Right as I thought of the sun, I would turn toward it, and right then it would get brighter as if a cloud would move to the side. This happened more than once, and the one time was very amazing. They can actually part the clouds; believe it or not. I told you how the clouds parted when I first realized I was abducted. That was beyond normal natural occurrence. It was in the realm of miraculous. Could they of made me look at just the right time, or is it a combination of factors? Possibly my reality was totally altered.

THE RIVER OF LIFE Nov. 27, 1994
I wrote a lot yesterday, and in the evening, while laying in bed, saw a vague image of a monk dressed in a purple robe and hood, sitting at a table writing. Purple means passion.
Nov. 29, 1994
Woke up and felt the sound of some impact, like a hit by a car. A while later the feeling of being slapped on the wrist. Later when riding my bike this day, I realized I should stay off the road and use my hands on the handle bars, because a lady had tried to hit me before. Also, I tried not to be tempted to steal walnuts, as I passed that one tree.
Nov. 30, 1994
Dreamed this morning, of getting ready to smoke; felt guilty and said “Only one puff,” and was tearing up the weed. Right then, a vision of black chunks and then, chunk blob shapes with a red spot in the centers and light around the spots. There was yellow around the red spot on the top of the black blobs. (Meant my lungs were trying to get better.)
Later saw a woman from behind with a shapely figure dressed in Levi's. After this, a scene of looking into the river water, flowing by the top of a bridge in the center of the valley's small town. This meant to not smoke and destroy life, but find a woman and join the river of life. Water under a bridge means a women's sex organs, or the river of life.
A little later, awoke in a vision of a bunch of rice shaped, what looked like blood cells all flowing through a gate or two swinging bar doors. Blood cells were pushing through capillaries, and I thought it meant the oxygen carriers in my lungs were getting better. Could also be a symbol of blood, as the river of life that flows on when you have a baby. In the Bible, there is speaking of a river of blood, (Jordan river) and also the red sea. In the New Testament, Christ's blood is the body of water that is crossed, that sets us free. Christ is the bride of the church.
Before all this, when I first awoke once, there was a guy on the radio asking for money to support Family Radio, and I saw an image of pieces of meat being torn off; one all blood soaked. Then realized I had already given to the cause of spreading the gospel, and that's what the flesh and blood meant; just like when you take communion and eat the bread and drink the wine. This means you partake of the flesh and blood of Christ. Even though (Family Radio) doesn't believe the aliens are from God, they will soon. (I even sent them two hundred dollars once, and now have to listen to them bad rap all God's supernatural events, claiming it's all from Satan. God has his own plan; but having to listen to them ask for money all the time, kind of gets me mad. It's the name of the game though. There will be a time when they will eat a lot of their words, and this will make it all worth it. It's a war out there, and we will win. The ones who believe, and care enough to do something about it, will gain believers. Call it glory hogs or whatever; but there are many others in the same boat. The basic message is the same: Love one another, and do unto others as you would have them do unto you; judge not, worship God, and forgive, peace, charity, etc.)
Also, before the vision of the blood cells moving, there was a dream of riding in a car with somebody, and we were getting stuck in soft dirt and spinning our tires, and I was very worried. This same theme has been in dreams before. I was getting stuck in mud up the hill, and this might represent backsliding and failing to maintain a will to overcome bad habits. This could mean something else, such as the word of God has fallen; or I will get caught in the river of life.

KIDS IN THE OTHER WORLD Nov. 29,1994
Was just thinking this evening, about how fire was used so often by people in the biblical world. They cooked, burned garbage to get rid of it, and also used it for heat and refining metals. Had just opened the vent on my stove to get the fire going again to warm my tea and sat back to read a UFO book after thinking "Fire is the transformer," and why can't some preachers see the symbolism of this? Right after this I heard a "beep" in my left ear. I couldn't think why, or what I'd just thought of. Then I remembered: it was the thought about the fire.
Nov. 30,1994
Had just taken a bath and was drying off by the wood stove, and thinking "After all these years, Jeeze is finally coming back," and right then thought I heard a mild "beep."
Also, before, while listening to the radio with the headphones on, I thought of how amazing it is that all people on earth are the creation of God, or the aliens; and they have been watching us all these years, and then thought I heard a "beep" over the headphones. Both these beeps were medium loud, and I was not as alarmed, but think I did hear it.

FOTUS Dec. 1,1994
This morning, felt a low undulating feeling. After that, saw a blood stained carpet, and a woman there was saying "He is a little man," and the guy seemed meek and mild; his wife hiding in a room next door, and blood was splattered on the walls and all over the carpet. That's when I realized, the guy is angry at women.
After this, a vision of a open sea, and a mountain in the distance. Was trying to figure it out, and realized it must be me. The story was similar to a trip I had taken. Realized I had rejected a woman the day before, and threw away her address. Realized I don't trust all women, and even find ways to think they don't want me around; because the day before I had a dream where someone said "Call first," and that day, found a phone number in my wallet, and couldn't remember who I got it from.
After the odd vision of the ocean and the mountain, I thought I must be the short man who is angry at women, and feels rejected by them. Right after this, I heard a baby cry with one yell, similar to the way a bird cheeps, (like the birds I feed in the morning.) After this, saw a black book with a circle and a ships steering wheel as part of it, on the cover. It could of been a star in the circle, but was like a pilot's wheel of a ship. 35.jpg (2634 bytes)( Figure 35.) My love is for the sea (big water, or word of God.)
A dream last night, was at a old barn, and a bunch of animals were there. There was a water place with water squirting out of a rock, as if there was a crack in the rock, and water is blasting out in thin streams under high pressure. The day before, I had finally given my story to the people at the post office. (There were so many returned letters from my letter sending project. When you send out 12000 over a period of time, a lot come back; well over a hundred. There are a lot of fake addresses for some reason; mostly in publications, and also the Mormon church has fake "stakes" as they are called. Latter day saints always came back, (There might be a double meaning here) and is maybe for a tax write off. A lot of publications didn't exist, or went out of business.)
Today, I had a few arguments with people who said "I don't want anything to do with you or your alien stories." I was trying to tell preachers to watch the new TV show on Dec. 4.
Dec. 2,1994
A image of five slightly crooked stem, tilting wine glasses made of clay, sitting on a round table. 35A.jpg (2325 bytes)( Figure 35A.) Five is the number of redemption and judgment, as in the five wise and five foolish virgins. This happened after thinking of getting the word out about Jeeze.
Later this morning, a vision of a face eating, and another face chomping food.
Later a vision of a guy hammering nails.
Had a dream of three girls in a room who were very attractive, and were joking about sex, and there was a tomato on a pearl necklace that was spinning around and split open.
A dream of on a school bus with a bag of weed; someone took it, and I was upset.
Later was on a army type boat on a metal grate net, over the water. There was a guy there I thought might be dangerous.
Saw flags with writing on them that was spelled wrong, but I read the words. (I think it means to stay off the ride that has to do with people who smoke.)
Later saw a computer screen that had a dark bull on it. A new corner on the upper right of the screen was torn open, and the word "fotus" was there in white, but I thought it should be fetus. (I had read a Picasso art book earlier that day, and saw bulls in his work, that have sexual overtones.) They are saying to start a family.

KILLER Dec. 3,1994
Also, the day before, was a image (with eyes closed) of two small white moving spots or lights traveling across a blue sky. Two means church.
About a week and a half ago, saw a blackish object move across my dark vision, from the lower left and going up. This was a different shade of dark. (This might mean that a dark powerful force is rising unsuspectingly (unconscious) my way in the future. This tied into when I was tempted to smoke again I think.)
Early last night before falling asleep, a image of a woman's mouth with safety pins for doing diapers in the mouth, and as if she kneeled by a toilet bowl. Then saw drops of blood just hit the floor. This mouth was similar to the other woman's mouth in a earlier image of (Oct. 11, 1994) where the spider or tick bit me, and the rat washed down the creek. This must represent my toilet training as a baby, and must be related to my feelings toward women. Blood is shed as a result of baby diapers safety pins. Also saw this mouth a few days ago, in relation to another dream where a guy said "Call first." The reason I didn't call was because I felt his wife didn't want me around. I saw that mouth like it could easily bite me. It is only unconscious feelings, but is true because I have imagined it to be, and so ends up, when I treat them this way.
The aliens have told me that it goes back to childhood during early toilet training.
Dec. 4,1994
Last night, a really weird dream. There is a guy with a gun, shooting people, and one guy was hit. (Saw a similar scene on TV the night before.) Then he shot again, and shot my mother, and I saw her fall to the ground. Then there was a big scaly serpent, and I'm not sure what led up to it; but I had eaten the big serpent, and had some in my mouth, and saw the big skin and head with big eyes laying hollow like a empty shell on the ground. I was shocked, and later that morning was having dreams of sexy women in different poses, as if in a sex magazine, and only natural without guilt. Could this mean that even though I'm angry at my mom and harbor deep resentment, I can devour that serpent, and don't have to feel guilty for being sexually attracted to women?
Also, the day before, I had earphones on and couldn't stand to listen to this one preacher who talks on and on. I had the volume down waiting for another caller to speak; then thought I heard a "beep" in my head that was mild. I turned up the volume then, and a guy just called in saying "I don't have to feel guilty, even if I know in my heart that I am a killer, because I am forgiven and God understands. God forgives me, my guilt is removed and I am set free" or something. They beeped me then, because they knew this applied to my relationship towards woman. An other words: even if you have been deeply wounded by someone and harbor intense rage,.. (Right now I hear a "beep" that just came as I wrote the word rage. They are always there, and catch me at a unsuspecting time; and when I reflect back on what just happened, I am taught something.) Anyway, I can overcome the guilt and anger by taking responsibility for myself first. Being able to forgive shows the most strength, even if the other person keeps torturing you till the day you or they die. Overcome evil with good, and try to understand the struggles of others. They are dealing with demons also. Be like Jesus and forgive. If someone is pointing a finger at someone, it means two are pointing back. I wouldn't be so righteous if I didn't need the advice myself.
He looked beyond my fault and saw my need: That is how God sees people. If I am strong in myself, there is no need to focus on the faults of others. The fault that bothers me the most, is the one I know the most, otherwise how could I recognize it?
He said "To win you've got to loose." This means you have to first die to the old self.
Seek ye first the kingdom of the lord and all else shall be given unto you. This needs more thought. Just some words of wisdom, and I'm not trying to be righteous and boost myself into a holier then thou syndrome.
Also this morning, I felt that mild floating feeling, and saw waves of dark that were crossing in a line like a ocean wave, or a curtain being drawn in a calming effect, one after another horizontally across my vision. They have done this before a few times, and it is a calming effect they give when I'm upset. When they came back, it unlocked all the repressed anger from a strained childhood, and I'm still working on that.
Also, the day before after the rain storm, saw a image of a fallen dead tree in the woods, right as I awoke. Still am not sure what this meant, but my culvert was leaking that day. It could mean that the water has changed the scene; or it might mean that the living water of the gospel has been poured out upon the earth, and tall trees that have grown old are dying, having now gotten a loose foundation, have fallen to the new storm upon the earth. The living water, word of God has transformed the land, and that which is old has already begun to pass away.

THE GOLDEN GLOBES Dec. 6,1994
Last night, a dream I was at a gas pump, and told someone to fill it up with twelve gallons, or dollars. (Twelve is the number of fullness, and I had been reading this the night before.) The gas pump was running, and the numbers going up and up. Then when it was either at twelve or approaching twelve, I saw a river of yellow fluid like gas pouring down a wide spillway, and right at that same moment there were two women with a large golden yellow globe held over their heads. 36.jpg (5232 bytes)( Figure 36.) There was one woman on either side of the spillway, with the gas cascading over the crest between them. They turned in unison as if on a rotating spindle or platform; because their legs didn't move. They were also a yellowish gold color. After this I was, or I saw someone standing, and a person was handing them money it seemed. (The number two represents the church; the globe completeness or fullness; and the women a symbol of fertility. The yellow color gas is poison that will pour out and make the churches apostate.)
Now get this: I drive toward town later the next morning, and realize I need gas just as I'm approaching this little store; and stop to get gas, walk in and the lady there says "Did you get my message?" We need you to work for us. I had been trying to get a job there for three months. It's a psychic dream. (What is funny is that I didn't get a job there, because the guy working didn't really quit. The boss lady was just trying to fire him, and it was a false alarm. It was quite a example of the fact that they can actually see into the future and create a riddle. This was so amazing. The fact that it was a psychic dream, means that I will have the job to make the poison flow in the future. I didn't realize this connection in psychic dreams until much later. This fact is seen in all psychic dreams. The dreams message shows a parallel similar event that will happen in the future.)
Dec. 7,1994
The day before, had a slight headache and thought it was because they visited me the night before. Was at the college and had a slight anxiety feeling that day. Later that evening when I went to bed, thought I saw a image of that zoom lens view, as if something is zooming toward me. They have done this twice before. Once when I saw a zoom of a child's feet running away on the pavement at the college. (Nov. 15, 1994) That day I was feeling the same anxiety. It seems they do this as if saying "You are running scared," like a little kid. This could go back to childhood, and is maybe a leftover anxiety from being in contact early on. Another time I saw the speeding zoom scene, I was in a slight turmoil, and didn't actually see a picture all the time, but just the sensation of speeding motion flashing by the sides. ( Once earlier I saw myself spiraling upward from the top of a pyramid, but was slower and going backwards, as compared with the other forward speedy zoom.) Anyway, after this I was thinking about it, and thought it was related to a fear I had that day. Right after this thought, I saw a white dot in my vision while eyes closed. Later that morning, had a low vibration undulating feeling, and was calm. I am so used to this now. This is how they calm me in the morning.
In a dream, was in a trailer and someone said "Is that them?" I said "Oh yea, they do that." The trailer was floating then, and spinning up in the air. Later saw a image of myself in a gutter with a beer bottle quart nearby. Means to not get into drinking again.

WAIT UNTIL ARMAGEDDON Dec. 8,1994
About a week ago, spoke to the preacher at the local church, and told him about the alien movie that just came out on cable: "The Search for ET Life," by National Geographic. The preacher said "This is where you and I part," and he didn't want to see it. The guy was freaking out shaking his finger, pointing toward my chest, claiming it's from Satan, and that he has the whole word of God right here in the Bible. He pounded the bible a few times. This is a typical response. I told him that I sat on the right hand of God, and am playing the role of Jesus. He said "You did not do this, bla bla," pointing his finger in a defiant way. I said "Well... you know some scriptures say to look for the signs of these things coming upon the earth; and now I have told you of this movie; they have told me to tell all the churches." He said "What do you mean they; why do you say they?" I said "They come from a parallel dimension," and was trying to tell about the visions they gave that showed this. It didn't sink in. I turned to leave and said "Well, you have been told, and in the future you will apologize to me. I'll be around, and let's just wait three or four years and see." This was the preacher who reacted very negatively and threw me out of church once earlier. He said "I don't want you coming back here, and I'm in charge of this churches spiritual welfare." I said "Yea, well I'm in charge of all the churches, and God came and told me to tell you that UFO's are from God. They are breeding people between dimensions." He just couldn't accept it, because he hadn't been looking for the signs. (This was the one local church)
Later, just yesterday, I went to the other local Jehovah's church, and saw my old mentor, who took me in when younger. I came to him again, and said "Have you been watching TV about UFO's?" He said "No no, you just stay away from that, and read your bible." I said "They came to me and are from God." He said "I don't want to have anything to do with that; God won't come in a flying saucer." I said "What do you know, don't you know in the bible it says to look for the signs in the sky, and God will let Satan loose on the church; now what do you think is happening?" He started getting righteous and calling me by my first name like he was lecturing, and he said "Yea, well that's something you will have to deal with. "I started calling him by his first name like I was in charge, and said "I told you they came to me and told me to tell all the churches that they're from God; we will see who's right in the end, and then your going to have to deal with that, when you find out." He said "OK." It was right before this he had said "Well, I guess we'll just have to wait until Armageddon to find out." We left on good terms. This was the guy who used to study with me, and would even drive out to my place.
Yesterday I was working on my story on the library's computer, and this night had a dream of driving down the road in a low slung type of three wheel bicycle, and barely missed being hit by big trucks coming my direction. Then was doing donuts around and around in a dirt parking lot, and the vehicle actually took off and was floating around and around like the feeling when I awoke. I was just spinning around, and in my vision I could see squiggly curves all next to each other in wave patterns sort of. This was a acid trip type scene while your eyes are closed, and there are patterns. This was unusual because I was perfectly straight. This was similar to colors you see when waking up from a hangover, but I awoke floating. (I had read about three wheel bicycle racing in a book the day before.)
Last night, also had a dream similar to one of those glowing red balls that are in a glass globe, and the red electric static light strands jump out to the outer glass globe like many small lightening bolts. There are a whole mass of them jumping out all over in the ball, like red glowing hair standing on end. In this dream, there was one of those, and somehow it was connected to a picture of a large field with furrows, as if ready for planting. Later that night, awoke to a vision and was in a mild undulating floating feeling they give before a vision to let you know one is coming. I didn't see the vision though.

NINE LIVES
Saw what was a lame cat's paw hanging out as if wounded, and a vague cat, I thought was wrapped like a Christmas package with twine bows or patches that were partially wrapped. Later realized it was a wounded cat, after further visions. Thought "What in the heck is this supposed to mean?" I always had pity on a small black stray cat seen living out in the big field nearby, but it had become a good hunter and was fatter. Somehow I could identify with it as being a loner, but having God to supply its needs, it was very well off. Anyway, later I'm half awake, and on the radio, hear someone say " light," in context with a phrase about Christmas and the star in the sky. Right then I see a nice bright spot of white light in the darkness of my closed eyes; and after this, see a image of a penis in a hand, that is spreading sperm from it like a pen on a piece of paper.
Later I fall asleep again, and have a dream of finding a large book with a shiny brown cover, in an abandoned gas station corner lot in Calpella. The book seemed to float and spin as if caught up in a slight breeze, like a leaf. It just lifted off the ground and seemed very light, and spinning end over end for a moment. Then I looked, and laying nearby on the beat up pavement were three cats. One was obviously dead, and I could see chop marks or crushed mangled areas, like a car ran over it, and blood was all over. The other two were dead also I figured, but they were partially covered by a card-board box, and their bodies sticking out some from under the beat up old boxes. The feeling was of horror, with all the blood everywhere. Then I checked out the one under the box, and saw that it was moving and even slowly stood up as if dazed, and was trying to start to walk away. It seemed there was blood on it's leg, but was OK. The other cat by the other mangled box was alive also, and getting up. I was amazed and looked back at the dead one which I knew was dead, for it's face was crushed and so much blood.
I don't remember what happened to the big book. It just was out of the picture when I saw the cats. Well,... right then as this scene of the two cats getting up is happening, and I'm amazed; I wake up and am floating in the mild feeling of, "before a vision," and see what looks like the top of the Taj Mahal, The Indian temple with the big white dome on top. I am now seeing this big dome rising up, and than fading, and than rising up again. Twice I saw this.
I had just been going through my old "Memo" magazines the day before, and read the little cartoon about the dome being a phallic symbol. I still couldn't put the puzzle together, but knew that the dome meant God's presence coming upon the earth.
Later I kept thinking about it, and then thought back to when I had talked to this one preacher in town, and told him my story briefly. He had said "How can I help you?" After that I was somewhat upset and said "I don't want your help; I'm here to help you." My story obviously didn't sink in, and he didn't realize or believe what I was trying to tell him. So anyway, I think back on that scene, and kind of saw myself as a smart-ass then, but oh well; and when I think of this, I see an image of someone going "whack," and hitting me on the behind the way my father did once, as if saying "You are a wicked wicked boy." Then after this, I see a package of tacos that is still good, but someone has thrown them in the garbage can. These images just appeared in my mind, after I thought of the scene of smarting off to the preacher, and these were the pieces to the puzzle to make me realize the message. The rejection you face is the spanking you receive, smarting off to the preacher. The good food in the garbage will be retrieved when someone realizes that it has been tossed. (I actually had recently retrieved good food out of the garbage, and someone had given me some torn but good packs of tacos where I used to work.) They (aliens) use past events to give you pieces of the puzzle, and obviously have a record of everything, to be able to do this.
Anyway, the killed and mangled cats represent when the preachers are spanking or killing me; but the live cats prove that they weren't really dead. The vision of the Taj Mahals dome means the word of God will rise. The image of the penis writing on the sheet of paper shows the word of God impregnating the world. Also, I forgot to say that after seeing this image of a semi-erect penis spreading sperm on paper; I saw a image of looking through the legs of a gunfighter from behind, as if he were standing out on the street with legs apart ready to draw. I saw the dome of the Taj Mahal right after this gunfighter scene, and it was rising like a phallic symbol to impregnate the earth. (Like the cartoon in the Memo magazine, that I had sent my story to. Do you also realize that it (dome) was rising slowly like the sun?) All this I saw while laying in bed in the morning with eyes closed, and thinking. They will answer your thoughts with a image that ties into the previous riddle, that goes back to the dream of the cats earlier that night.
The number "one" as in one dome represents one God. "Two" means church as in the two smaller domes or pillars on either side of the door. "Three" is purpose or communion as in Father Son and Holy Ghost. "Four" is universality as in the four directions. "Five" is redemption or judgment.

HARVESTING NUTS Dec. 9,1994
Woke up, and had a image of dipping my hand into water, bringing the water to my lips, and taking a drink. I could actually hear the sound of the water dripping, plunking back in the water, with a audio sound in my head. "Plunk." (It didn't come through my ears.) After that, a image of a child's bike on top of the old stove I have. The one that's full of holes, seen in a earlier image, half filled with water. (Nov. 18, 1994) Wasn't sure about that puzzle, but a old wood burning stove half full of water must mean that water will be transformed to life, just as fire can transform. When I drank from the river that morning, it means life is waiting to be drunken in.
Later that day, I drank from the river in the same way, as a good gesture. I then drove my bicycle toward town and went to pick walnuts. When I got there, I remembered a dream from that night, where someone was cutting trees in the same similar scene. I noticed that someone had actually removed some dead fallen pine trees in the same area. It was a precognitive dream that was slightly different. Other trees had been cut in the same general area, but they weren't the same ones. I didn't remember the dream until I arrived there. This was the old abandoned homestead by the freeway, across from the log mill, north of Ukiah. The fact I was going there to pick walnuts, and then seeing the tree that someone had just cut, are similar. Like the fallen tree, the nuts are ready to be used. This Idea means the word of God is harvested. Each nut is a dream I will open and eat later. (See Nov. 11)
Dec. 10,1994
Was depressed earlier, thinking there wasn't any hope of ever finding a girl who would like, or want to live like I do in a little trailer in a gully.
Had a vision of my mother I thought it was, but looked like me slightly.
Later was talking to my old grandmother; my dad's mom who's been dead a long time now. She was very nice, and I met her at a garage sale. She was trying to sell a antique item for a high price. There was a scene before this where I was looking at two rifle's. One was a shotgun and also a thirty thirty. I really liked them, but figured I wouldn't have any use for them, except maybe in case I was starving, I would be able to shoot a deer. I used to always worry there might not be enough food someday. It is something my mom always warned of, in case of a war or something. I think it was the same craziness her mom did to her, from the fact they lived during the depression and the war; also the fact that there are twelve children in our family. That is one reason I always shop at garage and rummage sales, like my mom did.
Was thinking "No girl would like me and the living conditions; or that I could afford to support a family." Later saw a fish floundering at the end of a long oak stick, and in the corner of a big gondola fruit bin. I had just cut a big stack of oak firewood, and could also take part in the grape harvest, so there is no reason to be worried and floundering.
Was tired this morning and saw a image of a skinny man bent over. Later saw two people walking the railroad tracks, and one guy's back had a large hump like the hunch back of Notre Dame: "Quasimodo." He was carrying excess baggage. (This scene was at the crossing near the big fig tree, where the old Garrett winery was, that we tore down twenty years ago. The two people walking down the railroad tracks were on the left side of the road crossing, and walking north.)
Also, the day before, I was going through my notes, and came to a place that said, "When you have a child your whole life opens up like a flower." Right then "beep" is heard in my left ear. Like I said: "They are always there."

UNDER THE MOUNTAINS SHADOW Dec.11,1994
A dream of a field of vegetables, and a farm or wild animals everywhere. Then saw a shadow on the plowed ground in front, that was my hat, with a dome shaped peak like a mountain or Chinese hat, but was the same symbol like the Taj Mahal onion dome. This meant that the shadow of God is with the person under the dome or mountain, and is a part of this creation, and helps develop it. It means that God is within you, and you are a extension of God's work. (This ties in with "The Buddha boy in a box dream, with the mound overhead. This is a very early dream that doesn't have a date.)
Later, a vision of much writing, all in nice script. Some script seemed in a different style, but was groups of words.
Later another vision of what looked like a unfolding Japanese design that opened up like a flower, and this was opened over the script writing behind it, as if saying "the message of God will unfold like a flower. The fan design for blowing air, is also moving wind which is how the spirit moves. (The spirit moves as the wind and no one knows where it goes or whither it comes, or when. See John 8 in the bible.)
A few days before, I had seen a Japanese, unfolding blue colored flower fan at a thrift store. The fan wasn't any specific color in the vision, but was maybe white like the paper behind with the writing in it. Also, the day before I had given my notes to my sister to type up, and eventually will make a book. Now I have even learned to type slowly, and am typing this now. This is a symbol of how the spirit of God will unfold. (This "unfolding" idea has been seen before, as in Sept. 21, 1994, and in a few other dreams. There was even the spinning unfolding spiral scene of seeing the square spider web shape pyramid receding away, as if I was unwinding as I went up in the air. This meant I was unfolding toward heaven after the sacrifice. This unfolding was also seen in the earlier "unfolding papers" vision that is this story.)
Later while half asleep, saw a vision of writing on a flag maybe; or a card that said "Luke 11," and some other unreadable letters under it. This was perfectly clear. (I mentioned this image once before, as being the one rare time that writing has been spelled right. There are a few times later when the spelling is right also.)
Later saw a pie shape with a piece cut out of it, and then a scene of a sexy woman in a few different sexual poses.
Dec. 13,1994
The next day's morning, was thinking of the scene of the pie and the woman in the sexual positions. Had thought it meant to partake in a nourishing substance; or could mean God's presence on earth.
God's presence will impregnate the earth. Was thinking of this scene, and saw a outhouse hole. It was as if I were preparing to excavate the outhouse hole for the garden, and there was this scene as if the outhouse hole was a piece of pie.
Also, the night before, had a dream of four or five Gaul's, or living corpses. They were standing in line and walking, similar to a picture I saw (of five prisoners of war who were rail thin) the day before in a magazine. They looked like the walking dead in my dream, and were dressed in mummy style rags, with skin and bones showing through, as if the skin were the rags, like a bag of bones, and all of them a gray color, and standing in line. It was shocking, and as they walked around a corner, someone, a girl was standing in the way of my view of them with a TV set in the background. I said "Get out of the way," because I wanted to see them, it was so shocking.
While laying in bed this morning, I thought of the possibility of my plastic water pipes freezing, and right then heard a "crack". They will let you face your fears.

KILLER BEES Dec. 14,1994
In a dream, while reading a magazine, saw a guy on horseback who was covered solid with bees. He fell to the ground around some people. Then saw a river with pools and boulders, and knew he had to get in the water. They tossed him in the cool water. Before this, I saw a guy's head sticking out of the sand, and bees stuck all around like a clustered swarm, but you could see his face. The bees were calm though. (Bees are black and yellow: that stands for unseen power and poison. I later learned that black means power.)
(I was even thinking about once when in Mexico I had to hide in a lake to escape biting insects, and was telling a friend about that a day or two before this. The insects were biting my face which was out of the water. Also, I had just seen a guy covered with bees in a book at the library. He was the bee man.)
Saw this bee dream scene, that started when already in a dream, while reading a magazine sitting in a truck with my cousin. Then, on the next page was a volcano with a island in the middle like Crater Lake, and big peaks on the edge in the distance. The picture looked like a large monster's face with the peaks being the fangs, as if the whole crater were a mouth opened up. (A few days before, I saw on TV, a volcano had erupted and killed a few people, but one survived.)
In the dream, while still reading the magazine, on the next page was a weird mummy like head, with big eyes peering out of a mass of swirling circles that looked like a big cloud of darkness.
On another page was a weird pig's face that was warped like a Picasso.
On the next page was a bed designed for newborn babies, where a flap was next to the mother to support the baby, by her legs to the side.
Another series of pictures showed a pool that the mother laid on her back in, and the baby was born in the water; a birthing pool shaped like a circle, with a design for her arms and legs. A shape symbol with a square cornered pattern, like a type of pie, and the women was laying in a five pointed pattern. 37.jpg (2762 bytes)( Figure 37.)
Later saw an image of a woman's mouth, and her mouth was the hole of a roll of toilet tissue. This could be a clue to the other images dealing with toilet training neurosis.

A CROWD GATHERED AROUND Dec. 15,1994
Awoke, and on the radio was said "How did the people know where Jesus was?" Heard in my head: "A crowd gathered around." After that, the radio said "They went to where all the people had gathered;" speaking of the gospel of Mark, where the people had lowered a lame man through the roof, and Jesus healed him. The voice I heard wasn't an audio voice; it was a thought voice, as if the words were thought by me; but right after this, the radio said the same thing but in a slightly different context. This is another example of how they use the radio when speaking, and can see into the future. Could it be that I'm the lame man who was healed? I think this true, because they have helped me in so many ways.
Saw a woman's lips with two shades of purple lipstick on, and as if a lipstick dispenser, or a stick is being used.
Was thinking of how crazy I used to act maybe, and people thought me touched somehow. Then saw an image of a bloody tissue that came out of my nose. (Then the electricity went out, and later came on, but the TV and radio reception was out.) I thought they were coming to get me, and was glad, and tried to sleep. Awoke later and hoped they took me for breeding again. I kept hoping it was true. Then saw a baby's face with big eyes looking down at me, but think it was just what they thought I wanted to see.
Later that morning, felt a mild floating feeling. When I awoke, the radio was talking about Ezekiel going to heaven in fire or a whirlwind. Thought they had taken me, but was only wishful thinking most likely. The TV and radio reception went out, but possibly the power went out in town. I really believed it was true then, and said "Thanks Jeeze; for the kids." I thought they might be breeding me, and that's when I saw the image of the baby's face looking from the side in a vague scene. That's why I thought it was true, but am not really sure. It was just a weird night, and my imagination got carried away. (They will let you live whatever you actually believe.) It turned out that the power was out all over, but not in our home town. That is why the TV was acting strange.
The next night, had a dream of walking through the field and saw a semi-square rock that had a yellow top blended into white. Was going to pick it up, but didn't, and a little later saw a sandwich wrapped in a plastic bag. It was square and still soft. This meant to partake of the bread of light or life, and the yellow on the rock meant the life or light. The square meant all sides or maybe a sacrificial altar. (Yellow also means poison. I found this out later. This same sandwich shaped white rock was also found in real life. The color white (as in bread) means newness, as in snow. This is a idea used in the Bible.)
Later that morning, coming out of a dream, saw a pool of water and heard in my head a thought: "water sprites." Those were ancient spirits that hung out near water, and were involved with women, and regeneration. This must mean to go search for women that are down by the water, or are into having a relationship and a kid. I guess the old myths still are real. Water and the word of God go together.
While lying in bed this morning, saw an image of an acorn that had fallen, or was just falling into a bucket of water. I could almost see it splash, but couldn't, and heard no sound. This could mean that the conscious word of God hasn't splashed yet. Maybe it means I haven't splashed yet. This needs more thought.

THE MAN OF SIN Dec. 18,1994
A few nights ago I was thinking about an old friend "Don," who never visits anymore. Right after this I saw a leg wrapped with a bandag; a right leg. Later, thought of another friend I liked, and why I always go over there, and saw an image of a dog wagging its tail, a stubby tail like the dog I hate the most. (The one I tried to get rid of, and now people are mad at me.) The dog was being petted, and that dog was me. The one friend didn't come over anymore, because I had bit his leg, or had acted angry. The other friend put up with me and gave me attention only because I went over there. Somehow the dog I hated the most was a reflection of myself.
Wore my warm grungy coat when seeing a girl I was interested in, and thought "If she doesn't like me the way I am on the outside, then oh, well." Realized I was only rebelling strict toilet training, and was carrying leftover baggage in a antisocial way, and so was not the norm. After this, saw an image of a bum hiding by some garbage cans behind a store, on slick dirty blacktop.
Later saw a tin culvert pipe, and was afraid. This is related to my fear of being a star child, when you go up the tube, and maybe also keeps me in this child-like helpless state. In recognizing all these factors, I can re-adjust and try to improve my home life, and have the best of both worlds. I had been always leaving home everyday, riding my bike, and kept finding excuses to go away. I even knew it wasn't normal to not want to stay and work on my place. There was something I was running from, something I couldn't put my finger on. I suspected it was a side effect of a visitation. That night I saw the culvert image.
Dec. 18, 1994
Was helping build wine barrel furniture the night before, and got pretty drunk, almost sick. Later that night, saw an image of a drop of wine forming on the head of a barrel, the way a drop forms with the surface tension holding its shape. It seemed like blood, and I realized that is what it can be if you get caught up in too much of a good thing. You can get jealous, greedy, sick or angry at someone who is robbing the wine, or gets all the furniture to sell. All sorts of evil can come of it, if it's taken too much. Try to not let it get the best of you, or it will be like blood. The same goes for the green stuff. Too much can turn on you.
Dec. 19,1994
A few days ago, saw an image of two turds on the ground. This happened after I was preoccupied with how gross shit is, and was going through a phase of: "If I am anal." Had a strange view about, or if my behavior is reflected by stressful toilet training.
Also, today I was just thinking about "Family Radio" and how brother Camping was just saying that "The man of sin has taken a seat in the temple;" and I thought "I hope he read or heard, and thought my story was that person; or: I bet he was fooled and still thinks it was Satan." Right then I heard a medium "beep" sound in my left ear. I said "Jeeze hi," and knew that they meant "yes." Can you believe this? I sent out so many letters that station was bound to hear something. It was worth it, being able to overthrow the big know it all's. It's a power trip, but somebody needs to do it.

RIDING THE DONKEY Dec. 20,1994
A dream of carrying a box of vegetables like cabbages, and the bottom of the box fell out, and they were falling out the bottom. I dumped the box out the bottom, in a bin by a tractor that started to try and drive over me. I started to panic and tried to climb on it to avoid getting run over. The tractor and forklift were going around and around together, spinning slowly without a driver, and I was very under pressure and upset out of fear. Saw a name on the back of the forklift, I thought said "sugar," but was spelled different like soger or segur. I knew it must be a important message, and was hoping for a further clue. Later awoke to a vision in color of a face like a Jesus picture I have. He was sitting on the back of a donkey, just like where he came through the gate of the city. You could see a gate and his face, and the upper part of a donkey. After this, the picture changed, and I saw myself from the side on a donkey also, and further down the road from where Jesus was seen. The color of the city wall was yellowish brown, and a brown donkey.
Wasn't sure why I saw this at first, but later that day, was working at the coast sheet rocking a house, and it became a very stressful suffering situation. My boss was wigging out and worried about trying to be done in time for the inspector, and I was under much pressure. About halfway through the day, I started to realize that it was a precognitive dream, and tried to grin and bear it and not become upset. They had showed me a way to behave. This was so amazing. They had prepared me to not get upset. As the day unfolded, so did the message. (Some have thought that riding on a donkey was low and humble, but a donkey was a special animal that the kings had, and lent out. Horses were used mostly in war, and were more expensive to operate. There is a Bible verse that speaks of the king's donkey. Maybe in Kings. (Find verse.) This proves that to humble yourself, you will become king.


HIGH NOON Dec. 21,1994
Last night, saw a profile of my face, just looking out somewhere in a haze.
Later, a dream of flowers blooming, and then saw a frontal vision of my face.
Later, a very vivid vision while awake, of my face from the side, that looked like a cloud. (I have a postcard drawing of a person in a white robe, sitting on a hill it seems, and gazing into the clouds; and was thinking it looked like me, just the other day.)
After this, saw a shape like a circular belt buckle moving about half way across the sky, from the west side toward east and was gone about midway. I saw it from the north looking south. Right after this, the full moon was seen glowing behind a cloudy fog, moving slowly in the same direction as the buckle. The buckle moved faster, and was in a clear night sky; maybe twice as fast, or more. This was so amazing. This could mean my effort to create a book to spread the word about God, and be like a beacon in the fog. The circular shape was like two segments of a orange split in half, and is like the "first fruits" as spoken of in the Bible. One is to give of their first fruits unto the Lord your God. This idea is from the Bible's Old Testament, before the time of Jesus. The shape could have another meaning. 38.jpg (1612 bytes)( Figure 38.)
Later, saw another view, I thought was my face from the front.
After that, had another vision of what looked like stars and moon shapes, and curved lines with dark and light filling in different areas like a collage or tapestry of a outer space scene. This space tapestry scene is similar to a picture I used when I sent the alien story out to 12000 religious groups. It was a picture of a warrior with a curvy sword, by a picture of a alien, with the stars and space scene in the background. 39.jpg (1726 bytes)( Figure 39.)
After this, I saw a face of the singer Johnny Cash. (This reminded me of a commercial on TV, seen just the day before, where Johnny Cash is sitting on a bench on a wooden porch of a old west town, and he's nodding approvingly at some young gunfighters who are out in the street having a showdown. This is similar to the Dec. 8th scene, where I saw from behind, the view of looking down the street through a gunfighter's legs. This means that they are nodding in approval at my war with the churches. This also explains the belt buckle design in the sky. "Unbuckle your holsters, there's going to be a showdown!" The reason gunfighters must have picked noon for a showdown, was because the sun was directly overhead, and glare couldn't blind one of them. This explains the image of the clock I saw one night much earlier, a little after the major encounter, and the time read "fifteen after eleven." That means we have less then forty five minutes.
Later had a vision of Alfred E. Newmans face, the mascot of Mad magazine, whose motto is "What me worry?" Or is it "What... me worry?" I even saw him on a TV commercial a few days before, and he had a fly go in one ear and out the other. I have a pet fly living in my trailer this winter, and was playing with it the night before. God uses the foolishness of the world to confound the wise. Beelzebub is lord of the flies, and Satan. The idea that God lets Satan loose to make the churches apostate, is seen here.
Later, was pulling a nail in my dream, and as I awoke, heard a "POW" in my head, like a nail's head coming loose. Had been pulling nails the day before. This was an audio in my head. Later saw an image of a post card with three flying bright spots like saucers on it. (This is similar to the post card I have, of the person gazing toward the heavens. It took a while before I connected that postcard with all the other parts of the riddle. A long time later when reviewing, and editing the story, and thinking back on it; all of a sudden a missing piece of a puzzle will show up. I just realized the Beelzebub fly in the head riddle, on the fifth time I have edited the story. There must be other missed riddles.
When I just now edited the part where it said "This means they are nodding in approval at my war with the churches," I right then saw a small bright spot on the computer screen. This is done off and on, as a way of speaking.)

A SQUARE ZOOMING Dec. 24,1994
About a couple weeks ago, was thinking about an aluminum can I found on the side of the road while riding bike, collecting cans. Had stomped it with bare feet and then I saw a needle in the can, that someone had shot drugs with, and was glad it didn't stick me because I could of gotten a disease like Aids, and would be worried not knowing for sure. After thinking about this, saw an image in my mind (while laying in bed with eyes closed), of a squashed aluminum can in a snake hole. (Meant I could of been snakebit by the needle. Whenever I think of that I get scared. This happened a few years ago.)
Also, a few weeks ago on the night I thought they came and took me, I saw a square feeling that was whooshing or contracting in a speeded up motion or feeling. I don't think they really came, but they showed me that zooming feeling, similar to a scope that is zooming in on an object, but one that gives that feeling on four sides, like a box is zooming on all sides, changing size rapidly. The very corners have a faster blurry speed effect. You get the feeling of tunneling through space, and the sides become blurry, as you accelerate. They have shown zooming pictures before that are shown at a time of anxiety. It is a way to face a fear. The other zoom effects were with rounded edges. This square zoom must relate to the pyramid or altar. (This warped blurry edge effect was similar to the zooming grid pattern when I went on the saucer ride.)
The night before, was thinking about the phrase "harmonic convergence," and thought I saw a glowing light in an image in my head. I think this is where their vibration frequency and ours come together. They can hone in on our level, by some high tech equipment, and are now speaking with us; and have been all along.
Also last night, was thinking, I can't smoke pot again, because I lied once again and was afraid of being tempted at Christmas. Then saw an image of a green car that almost might hit me on my bicycle. Green means pot. (Found out later, green means death.)
I always see a dream image when my eyes are closed, but they have given smells in my head while sitting awake with eyes open. (They can give smells in dreams also.)
On rare occasions they have altered my vision while eyes are open, and can open a small window on the edge of the eye. (I mentioned this earlier.) They can also give a dream image in the mind, "while eyes open," but this is rare. It just bursts into your head, and mixes with reality as a very strong thought image. There are three levels of intensity on all styles of effects. Beep, vision, image, dream, audio, smell, emotions, small light spot in eye, etc. All effects can also be mixed, in full awake, half, or sleep. A very lucid dream is so real, that when you awake, it is like you only came from a different reality. Some dreams aren't recalled until later in the day, as in some psychic connections dreams. This is quite surprising, like a déjà vu; but a true déjà vu is not recalled from a psychic dream; there is only the feeling that this has been seen before.
There are a few other effects that are hard to explain: One is a dream that leaves you with the feeling that you had the same dream a very very long time ago, and now recalled it for the first time, and it seems very important. The other is a dream you just had, that seems very important, and then is unable to be recalled.
One feels like you were given a very important message, that was held in a time capsule until the time was right. The other feels like there is a important part that is buried just below the surface at this very moment, but is out of reach. Both leave you with an odd feeling. One is nostalgia, and one is frustration. (I talk about this later.)

COOL SHADY PLACE Dec. 24,1994
Later this morning, thought of a girl I'd seen once who I thought liked me by the look she gave. I thought "That is the kind of girl I need to try to get to know." After this, saw a small spot of light in my vision with eyes closed. This means "Yes we agree with your thought." The colors of the light spots mean different things: A red light means "stop, or sacrifice that thought." Blue, I think means "industry, or to build on that," but am not sure. White and blue are similar, and maybe the same. White has a blue tinge around the edges anyway, but sometimes seems a deeper blue. I think a light blue means "yes" and a darker blue means "yes, and to build on that further."
Later I was thinking, "Oh well, if I don't find a girl or have a kid, I'm not going to worry." After this, a image of a graveyard on a hill, and a small shaded canyon with tall pine trees in it, that was off to the side. Saw a place right next to one pine tree, in a dark cool place where I thought my grave was. The tree came right out of where I was buried, and extended toward heaven. I wasn't worried I couldn't be with the normal people in the yard up on the hill in the sun, because the tree was with me, and I fulfilled my purpose being a messenger of God. It was such a cool shady place to rest.
Also, after listening on the radio about "The prodigal son" story in the bible, I realized this same story was similar to my life with the aliens. The little new testament booklet I had been reading a week before the aliens first consciously came; and I had been reading it on that very night; was called "The Way Home." I was halfway through Collossians on that night. They have proved they can guide your life and you don't realize it? This was the first time I'd ever seriously studied "Acts through Collossians." Something just came over me, and I felt the bible was speaking directly to me. I was the apostle they were coaching, and I was warming up when starting at "Acts" in the bible. One day I just opened the book, and for some reason started there. I had read the "Good news for modern man" version of the new testament a long time ago, and remembered I cried about Jesus. It really had a impact on me, hearing how he suffered; but this time I read it as if I was one of them,(apostles) and came at it from a different angle. The Holy Spirit actually indwells you. There were so many amazing things they did back then. It was so hard to try to expect people to believe some of the things; but I told everything exactly as it was. It was so amazing that I didn't want to leave a single fact out. I still have that attitude, and that's why I give every minute detail to the point of boredom. It is still so amazing, I just can't get over it. It's been a little over two years now as I write this now: two days after Valentines day. Oh well, it's happening to a lot of people now, but still I am so honored they picked me. That's why I'll do my best to tell the world. The hard part is almost done as far as writing it all down. The rest is easy. It's the Christ syndrome of suffering before the resurrection: or to die and be reborn.
The story of the prodigal son is similar to my life with them. They knew me since a child on a subconscious level, and then I read the book "The Way Home," and finally came back and realized I'd known them since a child. I was once again reunited, and felt like we have been separated for so long. This story exactly fits a contactee who is reunited in later life: There is the homecoming. There are different categories of contactee's, but mine fits the long lost son category. Can you imagine what a surprise it was? I still can't get over it. It's the biggest thing that's happened in my life.
Dec. 25,1994
The day before, I wrote about the graveyard in the sun on the hill, and the dark shady grave by the tree in the gully where I was. That meant: "If I don't go visit my family at Christmas, it was the same as not being buried with the rest of the people on top of the hill. I wasn't dead among the rest, in the light of the living, but was in the shady place with the tree only, connected to Jeeze in heaven; not dead in the light with the rest of the living that are dead in this world. It sounds morbid, but perhaps if I don't live with the living, I won't know them when dead either. I was always tormented by mind games, and gave up Christmas. My childhood was troubled, and so I developed a morbid side; the kind of person who likes graveyards, and can relate to a loss that's buried somewhere: Where did those people go?... I'm just so tired.

THE NUMBER 5 AND 7
A dream, of being in a big group of people, and there was a elephant on each side of me with a bow in their tails like a Christmas present. Being in a crowded room, the elephants kept stepping back and forth, and I was afraid of getting stepped on or crushed. It was similar to Christmas that night, with all the people in the room. At Christmas, I read the book "Dali" the abstract artist. There was one abstract picture of elephants with long toothpick legs. Later that night, had a dream I was going to hit my brother with a hammer, and right after this, awoke in a vision of floating slightly in body, and saw two numbers tumbling over each other in a circle. When they stopped spinning, the numbers 5 and 7 in slightly curved style script were seen. 39A.jpg (1390 bytes)( Figure 39A.) The number 5 means judgment and also redemption: as in the five smooth stones, the five stones Daniel slew Goliath with, the five coins, the five virgins, and other. The number 7 means wisdom: as in Proverbs 9:1, many verses in Revelation, and many other verses.
Later had a vision of a ear, and there were concentric circular waves getting bigger as they were further away from it; and later the picture of a waffle foot print. First thought it meant to talk to people, and couldn't figure out the waffle footprint. It took until the next day before realizing It meant: the reason the dogs bark is because I kick them, and attack. They turn on me and bark the rest of their lives. Life has problems that can be overcome if you use good judgment and wisdom. Basically, I've been driven nuts by dogs, and I don't like them, but many people do, and barking doesn't bother them. There is a way out if I go away, like to another world; or become a monk and hide on the mountain. Sometimes you have to just give it all up, and hope things get better.

THE GRAPES ARE RIPE FOR HARVEST Dec. 27, 1994
Got in a argument with my mother at Christmas; was just honest with her. Later that morning, awoke in a mild twisting slow corkscrew feeling that they have used before, when I'm very angry and upset. It feels like my body is wrapped in a tight blanket sort of, but very mild. I can barely feel the really wonderful twisting chunky spiral; the lowest frequency spiral that is not the floating low frequency one. This is totally different. I went to sleep and later that night awoke with a medium frequency floating, that is usually right before a vision that's very vivid. Then saw a vision of many patchwork of fields clustered in one area, but seemed to be moving as if automated. The picture was adjusting, and the fields were rising to different levels, giving a 3D effect. The fields would seem to grow and the picture shift position in a rhythm, like frame sequences. Then in one square field, saw a doorway like a warehouse appear in the ground, and it seemed to be a factory of some sort. At first I thought it meant grape vineyards, because it looked like vineyards and a winery that was growing or expanding in fast motion; especially when seeing the two sides of the wide doorway, like a factory was forming. I actually moved my eye-balls to the side of the main vision, to see what was on the side, and there was more patchwork that were more fields in the distance. This vision was quite long and very active in the way the patchwork was moving, re-adjusting, and spreading with different levels of field height, to create a 3D effect. It meant that the factory was growing. 40.jpg (5940 bytes)( Figure 40.) Thought it meant I should plant a garden once, but later was thinking of the fact that I was going to help sheet rock a new winery south of Boonville the next day. (Sauza winery) Right then, saw a bright speck of light in the blackness of closed eyes.
Later, awoke to another vision that was not as intense, but with maybe a slight body floating; and saw a guy in a robe maybe. He put a white horn to his mouth as if to blow; a small curved rams horn, and he did have a vague cloth or robe on. Right after this, saw a guy put a piece of white bread into his mouth. At first, thought it meant to eat the bread of life and keep blowing the horn about aliens from God. After a few days of thought about the patches of fields and the new factory like winery; I now think it means that my job is to bring in a growing crop of ever larger fields of people, concerning the bread of life and blowing the horn in the name of the aliens; to feed the people. Of course: remember in the bible, is mentioned the grapes are ripe for harvest?

MY SPECIAL SILVER MACHINE Dec. 30, 1994
A dream of working with some people, and someone took my special silver machine that was in the back of the pickup. Was mad that people were competing with me, and was upset. Later walked past my dad's sitting place at the end of the table, and took a bite of spaghetti from his plate, but knew I was stealing. After this, was in my Dad's library with my own plate of spaghetti that was the store bought type, and not the same as my dad's plate of homemade, and with salad also. Some of my spaghetti sauce had spilled on the library floor when the bowl tipped slightly, and a big black dog came to lick it up. After this I sat down, and a big black cat was standing next to me and I reached down to pet it. Felt a feeling of calm love as it rested it's head on my leg. Felt it's breasts were large, like it was feeding kittens. This cat is similar to the scrawny black cat I threw some bread to the day before; the one I've taken pity on, because it's all alone and seems starving. This dream could represent a struggle with my dad for attention and food, and explains why I'm so competitive for anything others have, and am jealous and angry. The cat is the object of a need to get love and attention. It is a calm relaxed true animal love.
Also, the night before, saw a image of a persons face over in a girls sex area, and after that a image of some big breasts. Could this mean that because food is similar to sex: if there is a problem of anger in one area, that problem is reflected in the other?
Had a argument about the bible with some women the night before, who said the bible was written by men who oppress women. I said, "Obviously what was written was right, because if the women rebels, it means they are rebellious anyway, and if they can't raise children as a mother, than the whole human race will die out anyway. Men are oppressed because more is expected of them. Women are actually the weaker sex, but are strong because of the powers they control." Was thinking of this, and thought I saw a circle of light in the darkness, and there was a freeway full of cars headed toward the city in this image. The road was headed toward a highly populated area.
Later I was thinking about the guy who was paying off my lot, and how he had promised to pay each month, and now claimed his back was broken or something. Right after this thought, had a image of grabbing a oak chunk of wood, and my hand fell through as if it was only bark and hollow underneath. (Peeled bark off wood the night before.)
At one time, was wondering if they were still speaking to me, and I saw a image of a small saucer shape.
Also, the night before, thought I was starting to feel a vision coming, and saw a very vague image of a face looking at me. It seemed to be a baby's face looking up from a bed. Later that day, I seemed to be able to regress back and realized a falling out with my mother. This became very real when talking about it to a friend's wife. She asked me why I was so mad at her, and I just tried to think. There was a extreme anger, and also thought I was hearing a high pitch buzzing in my head during that time I was trying to see the anger. I said, "I just can't ever get over it; we had a falling out that I never got over."
It's a syndrome her mother also did to her. Now I can forgive her, except the guilt turns the person into a finger pointer, trying to find others faults in order to feel better about oneself, kind of person. I think she turned on me when a baby, and tried to teach me a lesson I'd never forget. It's a game of: "I will shun you because you don't give me the attention I want; you won't be the way I want you to be;" and this just goes on forever. She told me once: "I think we got started on the wrong foot." I would cry and cry and the rage towards her was overwhelming. She would say "I'm not going to give you what you want unless you be the way I want you to be." This started at a very early age. Everybody always says "You are at fault for hating your mother," and in telling people my problems, I have found most will actually turn on me. My mom had twelve kids, and also was a doctor, so she was overwhelmed obviously, and I was a problem child.
It is easy to see how I was able to develop such a strong emotional attachment with the aliens, when they came to me very early on. It was the perfect situation for the development of a dedicated future helper. They either heard me crying or somehow knew, and came early in life and formed a relationship on a subconscious level. This is a key in understand why I totally trust them and want to tell everybody about them. For one reason: "They told me to tell everyone," and that is reason enough. I can't even exactly remember who these people are, as I've said before. It's all on a emotional level. They can do this obviously, and this is slightly out of the norm. Someone I told this to said: "They have no right to be messing in peoples lives, and they prey on a opportune situation," or something like that. I said "What do you mean? They took a bad situation and made it good." People just can't understand, and I don't take it personally anymore. I can understand that it's hard to believe, and scares people. They think it's Satan. A old friend who told me this, is even a recently very religious person, and he still refuses to read any book on the subject I've offered him, as proof I'm not the only one that's been visited by aliens. I said " Let's just wait."
This morning, thought of going to the library to work on the computer, correcting the story so to make a book. Right then, had a image of a finger pointing. Have seen a finger before when related to working on the story. Must mean to push the buttons. It is the way I type; I use one finger. The finger was a index finger this time. It was a baby finger the other time I saw it. Once it was a black battery core. (See Nov.4, See Nov.6;  See Oct.14)

YELLOW MOON ON A PURPLE NIGHT Dec. 31,1994
They woke me with a floating feeling many times last night. Each time, there was a message that was sometimes vague, but one time heard a message as if I were reading, that said something like: " You can't know all the secrets."
Another time there was a girl next to me, and she put her arm in mine, and I was overcome with a feeling of extreme love, that wasn't sexual, but emotional love. They can induce these feelings after you awake from the dream, and your body is also in a rocking floating feeling.
Felt a object stuck in my skin. After this was a struggle. The splinter in my skin was some sort of buffer to balance out the extreme love I guess. Another time, saw a very vivid picture of a yellow moon in a dark purple night sky that was partially behind a leafless oak trees skeleton, like a tree in December. This was a very unusual scene. What is odd, is that I saw a show on TV the night before, called "Hard copy," and a guy from Mexico was shooting a film of UFO's over Mexico, and the UFO went behind a tree in one shot. Also, I was reading a book the night before, about sailboat racing, called "Fastnet Force 10." Many boats were wrecked in a storm off the coast of Ireland. There was a boat named "Golden apple of the sun," and another was called "Silver apple of the moon." Anyway, the scene of the purple sky and the golden moon is symbolic of purple being a color of passion or suffering, and yellow being the symbol of light or truth that is reflected from the sun which is God. (Yellow means poison, I found out later.)
The moon is the giver of light from the father. It reflects the fathers light and gives direction to a world in darkness. The color purple is the tribulation period that the earth is now in. The leafless tree is a symbol of a time when plants are hiding from the struggles of winter. In the scene: the full moon with the golden light was just on the horizon of the mountain ridge, as it was rising: This means the Father's light is reflected through his suffering prophets, as they rise to shed the Father's light on a "dark and suffering world" that is holding out in the winter of tribulation. This is the leafless oak tree that is holding out; the churches are the oak tree.
Also, last night, thought of the cat I had pity on, and left a piece of bread with a sardine in it by the culvert where I've seen it. Right after this, saw a vague image of a barking dog I hated so much, and realized I should have pity on my enemy also, and think I do. To do that is to love yourself. Also, was thinking of kicking that dog, and heard a "crack" sound in my head. This I took as a bad omen. It was later, when thinking of "New years," I heard a audio "beep" in my head, like a VW's car horn. (Not the common "beep" in the ear, that is a very high pitch tuning fork type beep.) This was a slight puzzle to understand. I finally realized that my dad's car was the old red VW. My father in heaven is using my dad's old car horn. His old red VW hasn't been around for twenty years.
There was another time when his VW was seen in a vision that related to me being run down by his VW. I even saw that vision when my eye was half open. The scene was in front of the old red house when I was a boy, and I was peddling a bike above the VW.

EXPERIMENTAL VEHICLE Jan. 1,1995
Was thinking about what sort of effect my 12000 letters had on the church. Saw a image of the solar hippy's house, and saw a drive shaft that my hand had turned. The thought "experimental vehicle" came. I haven't been there in maybe four years, and haven't even thought about him recently. This proves they know facts going way way back. The solar hippie had a lot of old golf carts, and other light electric vehicles, and odds and ends for building.
Later, saw a woman with a long dress walk into a room through a door. Right then heard a "woof" of a dog bark. Means I don't trust women like the dog doesn't trust me.
Later that morning, was worried about a guy who was to wake me at five thirty to hang drywall, but I wasn't sure because it was Sunday. Had a vision and a mild floating feeling' and saw a guy propped in a chair, semi-awake, and then falling asleep, like he was snoring and leaning back. Thought they were telling me to not try to stay awake, because the guy isn't coming.
Later saw "Lamba," a ram sheep we used to have that would charge you; and he was getting ready to charge me in a barn's room. Saw the boards on the wall and was ready to jump up them, and in extreme fear. Could this mean my mom or dad, or the aliens had frightened me once? My parents were very strict and I developed much anger, but even the aliens had to give me a shocking fear early on, in order to prepare me for the trauma of eventual contact. That was the time the light got me and I was in extreme fear and striking out at them. This happened sometime in mid childhood, or earlier, and was released to my conscious mind a few months after the major encounter when they first made themselves known. In this way they wove all necessary factors together in the eventual adjustment I made to become mentally stable; if you can believe that. Sure; I'm a little crazy, but aren't we all?
Anyway, there are a few times when I have felt angry at Jeeze, and I go through a guilt trip. Sometimes after a dream or vision when they show me my faults, I get mad or feel tricked, and than feel like they interfere. Then I say "No no Jeeze, its not true, I will listen to anything you want to tell me." It seems they do this once in a while, to let me know I have the power to turn on them; and it puts me on a slight guilt trip, to be feeling angry at a certain message they gave. Usually the truth hurts, and everyone needs chastisement in order to see their faults. I trust them and look forward to anything they want to tell me. I brought this up because a lot of people's reactions are: "Don't you have free will? People say things like: "They have no right to interfere."
The aliens are like a family I trust, and they have a unconditional love; and I respect their opinion. I already know they know me better than I know myself. They help you through the hard times and are always there to help you become a better person. A lot of people might say I should be angry with them, but all that doesn't compute. I know them like a long lost family, and even though I went through the anger phase, that was a necessary part of the process; the love and dedication remains. I know it is a gift that few receive, and I hold the most respect towards them.

ISLANDS IN THE SKY
Later had a vision of a bunch of trees like logs laying on green mats. They were people standing in the forest at first, and than became just short sections of logs laying down.
Also had a dream of a photo of a pile of logs by the ocean, that was where the big mills wood pile in Fort Bragg was. Then another photograph that was in the future: of myself standing in the same spot by the ocean mill, but the lot was empty. The photo's were next to each other, and it was a "before and after scene" of the lumber mill at the coast. One photo scene is of a pile of logs, and the next of a guy, similar to a profile of a person on "Americas most wanted" TV show, that was a dummy of how the guy would look today; and it was of me I knew; and in the empty log lot. (I saw that show the night before.) There was a third photo in the dream: that had a silver airstream trailer out in the empty lumber yard, and I was standing out there near it. (Airstreams are the "silver" trailers that have that space age curved design.) This might mean we are harvested to do the Lords work, and to spread the word. It's the first resurrection.
Later had a vision of a patch of land that had square sections that were showing, as if to mean patches are being harvested. This was similar to the vision around Christmas, of the squares appearing as if circling in a helicopter. You could see the landscape unfold; but more like a view from one spot, and the picture unfolds as if animated: Patches appear and fit together like a puzzle, and some are grown to different heights, like a farm is being formed out of a jungle area, and is shown to be growing in fast motion in a animated picture. You see the different levels of squares appear over hilly land.
Remember the doorway in the growing winery vision of Christmas? The door appeared in the side of a square field like a small hill, and there was a square pillar on each side of the doorway, with a square door top. Two is the number for church. Then, it was vineyards that were going to be harvested, and now it's trees. The "square" (doorway or fields) is the shape of a cross. This means many will die and be reborn with their resurrected bodies. (I didn't see this clue until Aug. 19, 1995, while editing this story.) Another clue just seen: is the log sections are like a "rod of power."
After the vision of the moving growing spreading "tree" patches, had a dream vision combination, of talking to my two brothers and as they were speaking, I saw the most amazing vision; and tried to tell them I just saw this, as we were sitting here in this dream. (This was actually: me seeing a vision while in a dream. This has happened only a few times.) At first I saw a bunch of lengths of six foot logs laying in soft green grass on a small island of land, like a island in a ocean.
Was just recently reading "The Happy Isles of Oceana," by Paul Theroux. (• Note 12A.) It is a book about a guy who goes to the small islands in the Pacific and takes a fold up canoe to get around the many large and smaller inhabited and deserted islands. The night before, had just read a part where he rowed to a small uninhabited island in the Vava'u group near Polynesia. He said that when he came to the cove, it was like the island was alive, because the trees were all moving in the wind; the beach is moving with sand crabs, and the birds and waves are all active.
So anyway; this vision of the logs laying in the soft green grass, as if on a shore of a island, all of a sudden becomes the most amazing vision of: as if a chunk of the island scene is lifted from the island. This is like one of the "Dali" pictures where the whole rock and roots and the earth is actually all floating above in the air: A island unto itself in the sky above the other island. (Like on a computers art program, where you use the "lasso," and remove a chunk and pull it over to another part of the picture.) This also reminds me of a commercial where a gas station is carried up into a UFO; the whole chunk of land and everything. Then it says to "keep your eye on the ball." Its a Union 76 commercial.)
On this island in the sky, is a person standing to the right in the grass, that I thought might of been a log at first, but was the vague figure of a person; and there is a violet light that is shining in the upper center between two log like trees on either side of the entrance way to a river. The two logs are just six foot lengths like the ones that were laying in the grass on the shore earlier. They are like pillars standing by the entrance of a river, and this bright violet light is dispersed above. As I focus on it, there is a river that is flowing out of a steep canyon with boulders in it, and bright sunlight reflecting off the rocks. Its flowing out of the high mountains. This was so spectacular. There was this bright violet light in the sky that just dissipated out in a flashbulb effect, but you could see the rest of the scene. This whole scene was on the island floating in the sky; and there was another small floating island to the left, that was exactly like this one, with the whole same scene, that I saw out of the corner of my eye; but most of my attention was focused on seeing the one in front of me.
These two floating islands show that God's kingdom is separate from earth. I could also see the other larger original island with the logs laying on the grassy shore area, underneath these dual islands in the sky. (This was the vision seen while in the dream, sitting at a table, talking with my brothers, who I tried to tell, but knew they couldn't understand.)
The logs laying on the shore are the first ones that were harvested, and will be the witness's (rods of power) of the kingdom. The others (my brothers) can't see it, even when you're right there with them.
There was a light blue background in the upper and middle sky area, and green in the lower areas surrounding the whole scene. You could even see the chunk of brown earth and rock that was the base of the raised small islands. A drawing is needed to fully explain the scene.41.jpg (10974 bytes)( Figure 41.) This scene is loaded with tons of symbolism. Remember the person I saw standing in the green shadows on the right side of the canyon, a little to the side of the one log? I think that was me, because I thought it was a log at first. It could be anybody that will become one of the two witness's that represent the church, as in the two logs standing at the entrance of the river. (This is also like the entrance of the winery, seen in the Christmas square green patches vision.) The two islands in the sky represent Gods church in heaven, coming upon the earth. The river of life is Gods word that flows down from between the two high mountains out of heaven, over big boulders in much bright sunlight. The violet light is the highest color in our spectrum, and also represents suffering or passion. (Saw the same violet light the time they made me relive "when the light got me," and I woke up in a buzzing electric immobilized effect.)
After this vision of the islands in the sky, I was somewhat puzzled, because it was so amazing, and was hoping for a further clue, because I still hadn't figured out what all the cut logs were supposed to be. Well, right after this floating islands vision, had a vague vision of what seemed to be a big spider that walked around in a half circle over the top. I could see it animated: first legs on the right, then the left, then the right, then left; like a set of three legs switching back and forth. You always saw the head and body as it moved along in slight jerky fashion, like a outline of a cartoon that is put together in segments. You only saw it's three leg footprints appear and then disappear switching back and fourth on each side as It moved in a arch, like over a door. It was in a vague dark scene, but I knew it was a spider forming a web. 42.jpg (1947 bytes)( Figure 42.) This is similar to Oct. 25, 1994)
Remember back when I was sitting with two of my brothers in the dream when I had the vision of the logs laying on the shore in the green grass? Well when I saw that vision of the logs, I said to them: "Your not going to believe what I just saw." This is what the spider means; it forms a web to catch prey. Also, do you realize that "two" of my brothers were with me in the dream, when I saw the vision? That was one of those very rare visions while in a dream.
This was so complicated; and at first I thought it meant the spider trapped me, or was part of the harvested logs process that became the two witness's. But this is also true, because my two brothers were there when I said "You're not going to believe this:" meaning the vision seen, and what was seen later; the islands in the sky etc. Do you see how the log harvest process goes even further back, and harvesting is a common theme? (Later I found out "green means death." This could be related to "all flesh is as grass," as spoken in the bible.) Even the spiders web symbol was used way back a long time ago. (Sept. 4 and Oct.10,1994)
After the amazing island's vision, and dark spider vision, I was laying in bed thinking "I want to draw a picture of this." Right after this, saw a image of a stick like a paint brush and a arched doorway appeared, like a upside down U, that was the same shape the spider crawled in, in the dark vision. This arched doorway was a pink orange that was glowing, like light was shining through. (Oct. 25) It had a flat face with raised edges a inch wide around the edges, inside and out, and the raised edge had a rounded face that curved level to the larger flat face of the arch and vertical upright sides. There was no sharp edges, but it had square corners. 43.jpg (1638 bytes)( Figure 43.)
(I had even just read a book on flying saucers, and a person who had been inside one, said that one of the unusual things was that there were no sharp corners anywhere in the whole craft. Everything had a strange rounded effect, almost like it was melted the way wax can melt, but with a smooth look. The book is called "Alien Contact" by Timothy Goode; published in 1993 or 4. (• Note 13.) This is a must read book. It tells of a person who back engineers (takes it apart to see how it works) captured flying disks the military has.) I'm not sure if it's related, but they (aliens) have used things I either read or saw on TV before, and mix it with future dreams, visions and images.)
The door was actually an opening that represented the picture of the river with the violet light on the floating island, I saw earlier. I'm just trying to describe the border around the open space that is the door. The border with the arched top is somehow connected with the spider, because it crawled in the same pattern. This arched top is also a recurring theme, but wasn't seen in the winery door vision, of the unfolding fields at Christmas; because that was square: meaning a cross I thought, and represents the first resurrection. But the arched top is the gateway to heaven. The arch in the church door was also in the earlier walk with the Lord two years ago; the church where someone was standing in it, and said "Have a good time," when the guy I was with said "We're taking him on a tour." Remember that at the beginning of the story?
But the borders of this now open passageway had sides and top that were about a foot wide, with the inch wide raised rounded design around the edges, and was with a glowing orange light shining through. I thought I saw some Chinese lines that ran parallel to each other, that were like the spiders legs in the vision; groups of lines similar to oriental art, but was vague and in one area. (I have seen oriental art before, when seeing the orange carp through the oriental window. (May 28,1994) Maybe this means the door way leads to a distant exotic land. The opening in the center of the door was maybe four feet by seven. 44.jpg (1552 bytes)( Figure 44.)
The following will show you how confused I really was before I had figured out all the pieces to the previous night's messages. I'll leave it as I originally wrote it in my notes.
Later I was puzzling about the meaning, and saw an image of a knife once. Didn't know what to think, and then later saw an ax splitting wood like I do. Realized maybe the wood needed to be split to create a fire. It was kindling, and I thought how fire is the transformer. At one time, was trying to remember what the vision of the patches was, and was going over and over trying to figure it out. Then went to sleep again and forgot what I was thinking and became upset. Then they gave a vision of just a total empty blank, as if to say "Forget it," and after this the splitting wood image. The vision of the blank was real, because I could feel the floating feeling before the vision. Later, was able to recall the patch vision and relate it back to the patches vision at Christmas. The splitting wood image was to tie it all together, meaning the crop is harvested, and cut as in the knife image. (Even the fact that the fire would burn it, is symbolic in that it will be transformed.)
About three times during the night, I would get up to write notes so as not to forget. There was an image of hands clasped together once. There was an image of a big needle, sewing up a fat stomach as if a football, and an image of my gallon cans of beans and tomatoes being crushed as if something like a big invisible table was bending them into the stove back. (I watched football later that morning.) I think it meant that: "We have given you much food for writing," because later I hear a "burp" in my head so clear, and I'm not really fat. The clasped hands could mean that we are partners in a job. What a start to 1995! (Later I figured out more clues from the first major visions.)

PART OF GODS HERD Jan. 2,1995
The night before, I forgot to say that at six in the morning almost exactly, I felt an earthquake that was one jolt, and my trailer just jumped. It was a split second after six, because I saw a flash as the TV just came on the air through my closed eyelids. I had left the TV on all night, and the station was on standby. They gave me many visions that night but didn't warn me of the quake.
Yesterday I went to the monastery on the hill, and got the UFO books I had left for the father to read. I talked to some nuns who were hard to convince, but told them "Every contactee is a Christ." They were just half being able to maybe believe. The father wouldn't even read the books I had left him, and after some talk I said "That's it, I've tried, and now we'll just have to wait and see."
The only vision image I can recall from last night, is a symbol like a tattoo on a person's skin that reminded me of a brand mark on livestock. It was some letters overlapped, but were hard to remember what. This must mean that I am part of the herd that's Gods. The brand marks might of been a J or S, or a J and M overlapped. I think it was JM maybe, and means Jeeze and Mark.
Also, when I spoke about the girl who put her arm in mine, (Dec. 30) and I was overcome with a extreme feeling of love (not sexual love, but emotional) that they can induce; well do you realize that it was at the corner of our property in the road: and this is a symbol of my emotional love contact with them. (There was another scene they showed me, of a swirl of ice-cream in a round tub on the "dotted line" in the middle of the road; (Oct. 21,94) and also the cone head with the dotted line and circle vision. (Aug. 12,94) Both of these I think are also related: in that the dotted line in the cone head (road) is also like the right angle. This could be true in quantum physics.)
But this other "right angle" is also near the area where I heard the children's voices out on the road, on the very first night they consciously came. Do you see the similarity between the right angle vision with the flap, 4.jpg (2898 bytes)(Figure 4) and the corner of our property? "It is at the corner where the two worlds meet." There is another amazing dream vision combination they gave me that was also at this corner. It happened recently, and has given me the clue to tie all these others in; especially in realizing the meaning of the right angle, and then recognizing other scenes they have created that use the corner of the property.
Just now, while writing this, I realized for the first time the riddle. "The cornerstone:" Christ is the cornerstone. How could I not of seen this until now? There is also another amazing fact that I discovered today while typing: Remember the most amazing vision on New Years: of the water flowing out of the mountains that were on the floating islands? Well, in order for a river to be able to flow out of the gorge, there had to be "two" mountains. Remember that the number two stands for church, and the living water is the word of God. This must be a ancient idea that also fits the entrance way to a door. The "two" floating islands in the sky, is another example of this; also the two harvested logs that were standing on either side of the river gorge.

Part 7