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Part 4
Had a dream right after I wrote the encounter story report that I sent to all the churches and religious groups. In the dream that was quite short, and more like a waking vision... I was climbing up a mountain, being almost at the top and very tired. Right then felt like just laying down in the cool dirt on the side, for my legs hurt, and even though I could see out across the top, it didn't matter, for I knew the hardest part was over. This wasn't the very large mountain I call God's mountain, but was one on the other side of the valley, and a lookout flat spot we used to spin out on with motorcycles. There is an old rotting trailer up there now, and the place is a mess. (I didn't know that then.) It overlooks the valley from this side, and was the top of the hill we would go up to when younger, but is not the big mountain. There is the leveled off area up there, that reminded me of when I first saw the level grass field in the walk with the Lord, as my eye first was level with the flat ground as I approached the plateau.
This dream also happened later that evening after hearing the "beep" noise right after I cried about how hard it was to live with rejection, when driving up a different hill. The beep noise was at the top of the hill, when on my BMW cycle heading out of Usal. This means that I have arrived at the top when I can face rejection. (I'll tell this in more detail later)
RED EYES
One odd thing was that "before" the main three day encounter, for four or more days, while I was reading the Bible before going to bed, my eyes would be very dry and red feeling, like being on pot, but I was not on anything, and this puzzled me at the time. Now I think it has a relation to the spirit indwelling, or preparing me for what was to come. I could detect nothing unusual other then that, except the radio did quit working once, about three days before they came. It was working later though, and I only thought it odd.
Also the doves had flown over a few times and landed in the path once, but at the time I didn't realize what was coming down. I recall one dream about some colorful red glowing rocks: This was on the morning before it all began, and I saw the doves fly over the window right after that sometime. I had no idea what was soon to happen the next day.
THE RED ROCK
About fourteen or more years ago, we were planting a vineyard, and I was digging grape-holes for planting that day. (It is true that it was about that long ago.) Later that night had a dream that I dug up a bright red rock that was quite nice. Well, the next day I dug up a rock that was almost the same size as the one in the dream the night before' about the size of a fist, and bright red. I thought then "What a coincidence," and thought it an accident of chance. I don't think that way now, knowing what God is capable of doing. (Just recently, I finally realized that the hole for the grape that would grow, and the red rock would symbolize a message I wouldn't figure out until fourteen or more years later, when they came to me. This ties in with the one verse in "Acts" in the Bible.)
There was another time when my brother and I were going to Washington, to take a ferry to Alaska and work up there for a few months. On the bus on way up I told my brother to be careful, because I have a feeling someone is going to come up to us and trick us or something. Later as it turned out, we met a guy who befriended my brother, making him feel sorry for him, and talked him into paying his ferry ticket, promising to pay it back when reaching Alaska. In the end he never did. This was about seven years ago.
There was another time when my friend and I were traveling, and there was a nice river with a big slab rock formation, where the river flowed over and into a pool. Well, we stopped there, and I found a few rocks that were there. One was a three sided, small green pyramid, like a three horned oil lamp; a natural accident, and just a broken rock to most people. It had a small triangle dish on top. I also found a boat shaped rock. There was a place below the pool where one smaller tributary met the main river. I wanted to go there, hoping to find a special rock, thinking there was something there. Well, my friend wanted to go to Sacramento, because he had business there, but said we could stop on the way back. On the way back, it was almost dark, and I ran down there while he waited, and right there found a slab stone rock like a little table, and also a grinding slab upside down, right where the two creeks met. Cattle had been stomping around it. The small slab table was a little downstream. I was amazed because something in me told me to go there. My friend said "You must be clairvoyant," and I said "What does that mean?" He said it's something like ESP. I thought it was luck then, but don't think so now. Something told me you have to just go there, and it was on my mind all day. This happened about five years ago.
My three most clairvoyant scenes happened about five, seven, and fourteen years ago. This is like the number of steps in the walk with God, through the three levels of Heaven.
FLICKERING LIGHT
It was the early evening of January 20th, a Thursday, (when they have Bible study) that I walked back into the Jehovah's church. It had even been about exactly seven years since I left. This was on the second day of the major three day encounter, that happened during the night. This is when I told the one preacher: "I think I was visited by aliens." I had a calm warm feeling that was always with me during those times. During the sermon, I recall there was a florescent light that kept flickering off and on, and then was working again, and then flickered again. It was the light right above the head preacher, and I suspected the spirit did that. Thinking back it seemed I was in a altered state. It was just too casual considering what was happening at the time, but I was in a form of shock. I was floating on a cloud, and it was so very out of the ordinary, and I knew that. I still wasn't sure who they were, but I had emotional ties to them. The fact that they were coming to me out of thin air, and from another world was just so shocking, it really was.
The next day I was driving to San Francisco delivering wine. Later that night was the fourth evening, (tail end of the third day, heading to midnight) when the major therapy occurred. It was so calm during those days, just like this wasn't even happening. There must of been a calming spirit, and also the fact that I seemed to have been prepared, and had done this before somehow. I don't know how to explain it, considering some of the other stories I've heard. Usually the person doesn't recall a contact that's happening at the present time, and if they did, it wouldn't seem to be so relaxed and casual as mine was.
I was amazed, and telling people in my family, "I think I've been visited by aliens," and wasn't even acting too excited about it that much, at the time, but was in a trance and felt like I was just floating around those days. It is hard to explain, but there was a form of induced stupor. I was trying to fathom what was actually happening. That first few days, and a while later was the biggest thing that ever happened in my life.
I had a renewed love and interest in my family members, and moved back in the upper room of the big shed after they (aliens) came. I was a little afraid to stay where I was living, and the conditions were poor anyway. The electricity wires shorted and went out on the very night, after they left at midnight, at the end of the three day encounter. The next morning the electricity was out. It was a few months before I even checked to see what caused it. Two wires had melted together in a possible damaged area. I have a feeling that they did that, considering the circumstances.
It was time to go back and be part of the family again, and have a warm room to recuperate in. The upper room in the big shed is where I started the letter writing program, and where they came back, off and on with the dreams and healing programs of reliving earlier abductions, such as when the light got me, and waking in the electric buzzing, the swooshing effect, and squeaking in the room, pounding on the roof, learning to understand how they speak with the "beep," and many dreams in combination with the special effects. This was like getting to know them all over again on a different more down to earth level, and overcoming the fear.
They did a revealing of buried memories that brought on more fear then was there when they first came. It was a time to integrate the missing or uncovered parts, and getting to know how to speak with them. The calm stupor effect I used to be under was gone now, and it was more difficult having to deal with fighting feelings and fear. I still knew and trusted them, and was very much into going to the library and studying the subject, trying to find everything possible, and did a lot of reading more then ever before in my life.
When the visions came, and they were saying I was Christ, and wanted me to work against Family Radio, I began the letter writing project with earnest, as if it were the most important thing in the world. Here is God counting on me to do this. Can you imagine how serious, and how important this is? Sometimes I felt pressured a lot, and worried I might die by accident in a car wreck or something, and the mission would fail. I even told my Mom once, that if I die, to please finish the project, and get the letters out. I spent a lot of time in the library getting addresses. During my very busy time, they didn't really speak to me very much; it came in waves off and on. There was a time period where they didn't speak after the first visit, that lasted about a month, but I had feelings of being monitored, and used to hope they would come back. I still had much emotional attachment to them, and was going through a mourning period, and am still trying to put a finger on the origin of past uncovered feelings of sorrow. I used to kneel and bow before the sun and cry and speak to them, still feeling I was in contact.
The major wave around Easter really convinced me to tell the churches. I was dedicated to the cause, knowing this was so very important.
Most of the early undated dreams were when I lived in the upper room. I started writing everything down, and tried to now recall every last fact.
THE SACRIFICE
The day following the main three day visit, I at first moved back to the big house (my family's house) for a few days, before moving into the upper room in the shed. There was a bird that crashed into the window above my head that morning at the big house, and it died. (There was also a smaller bird trapped in a room upstairs, that flew through a broken window, and kept calling. I thought it was calling me to wake up and go to church, for it was Sunday, and I got up early and made it to church on time.) I later retrieved the first dead bird and set it on a rock, back at the old trailer where the encounter took place. A rock that was like a sacrificial rock... for it had a place where blood could flow into a little pool. I left the bird for the orange cat that was around there. I think it was the same cat that made the strange talking noises, and I know it was the cat sitting on the orange rock when my therapy session was over on the last night of the encounter. That cat was working with the spirits as a type of messenger, like the doves also, who came a few times.
I left the bird there as a sacrifice or present for the cat; for it was sad to see such a nice big bird as it was, go to waste. It was an unusually large bird with a blue head and blue gray body: A Thrasher maybe. Later the bird was gone, and I hoped the same cat got it while still fresh.
Also, I found a very small fish way down near my old place, that washed up onto high ground by the creek. It must have came out of the upper lake a few days ago, the night of the big flood. (That was also the night of my walk with God.) I set it out for the cat as a present, and it also later was gone.
THE FOOT PRINT
Also that one morning, (the fourth day I think. The day after the encounter was over,) there was a foot print in the mud, of what looked like a large deer. It was only a "single" print all by itself, and I thought then: "Oh, cloven foot," and a fear overtook me then. When studying it more, I realized it was headed my way instead of away... and a thought came into my head: "Evil is headed my way," and I was a little scared. I looked for other tracks that led to this one, but there were "none" other. There was just this one, like somebody made a stamp and put it there with a stick or something. For I had remembered a story about the devil's hoof prints. (This was talked about in a book at the library. This was see somewhere in Europe I think, or maybe back East.) I smeared out the track then, because it scared me, and I didn't even give it much thought or write about it. At the time I thought it was a message that meant "You will always have to live with evil that is headed your way." This was because there will be much of it when trying to convince people of what happened. At first I was very afraid that there was something about me that was evil, and became superstitious, but later realized that it is just a fact of the world, that people would regard this as evil. Maybe it could even mean something else.
EAGLE MESSENGER
There was another time about a month before the encounter, when at a friend's house, I left on my motorcycle and saw a big eagle sitting on a large rock in the outer garden by the road. It was unusual to see that, and I thought it was maybe sick, and when driving down the road, decided to turn back and challenge it and see what it would do. I drove up fast with the BMW cycle's light shining, (This was in the daytime) and tried to kick at it as I passed by. To my surprise, it looked very angry, and stood its ground, ruffling its feathers and wings, and lowered it's head in a mean way, hopping a little to the side. I just kept going, my curiosity satisfied. I asked my friend later about it, and he said it was probably after the pigeons there. But there was something odd about the eagle, the bold way it stood there on that rock so close, and wasn't afraid. I've never seen it since. It was like a messenger, because soon right after that is when things started happening. I think back on that, and knew it was somehow watching or trying to tell me something.
I became like the spirit of that eagle very soon after that. I wanted the spirit houses that were in my friends yard torn down. I became superstitious and thought they were evil. That is the mentality I started to develop. When at the library, I thought many of the books were evil; books like "Seth Speaks" and many others that weren't true Christian books. I even smashed a Buddha statue and split a wooden statue I had carved once. Looking back on that, I had become a fanatic: but I don't think that way now, and have realized that many of the odd books are channeled from the other side or God. I don't disbelieve other religions: but at that time, was on a Christian campaign. Christians are the one true religion was the mentality then. This all started after I saw the eagle on that rock, if you can believe that.
I know this sounds hard to believe, but I've even read recently in the book "Uri" by Andriah Puharich (• Note 9.) that there was an eagle messenger that would appear sometimes before some form of visit or message. The spirit can obviously be in the body of an animal, and will do unusual things. This explains many old Indian myths. I told about the doves that were flying near, a few days before, and also after the encounter. It is obvious they were acting different then normal, and I have never seen them do that again, but have seen them overhead a few times. They weren't acting normal, it is true.
WORSHIP THE SUN
Around the time when the encounter first took place, during the day I would sometimes go and bow down before the sun and cry and pray, and say "Thank you, thank you," and sometimes it seemed the sun would come out from behind a cloud when I talked to God; for as I told you the one time in the garden when it was done for me, I "knew" it. There were other times when I felt it could have been done somewhat, but not like that one time, for I swear there was a single beam of light that shot out right when I said "I think it has something to do with the sun." This was at the climax of me just realizing what had happened that first night, and I was shaking and my face and whole body were hot. It was a feeling I will never forget. That is why I would always look toward the sun, and knew they were there somewhere. They must be able to time it just right, so when I talked to them and looked toward the sun, the sun would appear. Maybe it was even altered reality.
There was a period of two months afterwards when I would cry about them and say "Why did you leave me?" Even still I sometimes cry about them when I hear a certain song, for somewhere buried in my subconscious is a very deep love and loyalty. It is so amazing, because I don't even remember what these people look like.
I'm so defensive about this; for when someone says bad things, it really hurts, and I become angry, but am learning to understand and have more compassion. It is very hard for people to be able to believe what I tell them, and is beyond anything of this reality.
I know what is real to me, and it is something I will always worship above anything else. I will never turn on these people who have done so much for me. Why me?", was the question that's hard to figure out. How could I be so lucky? Just a nobody among people, who was far from being a saint, and so angry at the world. I was greedy and jealous, and did not love my parents, my brothers and sisters, or myself; but now have received a gift of a chance in many millions it seems. "Why me?", is what I said, and then heard that kiss noise, and then a thought "Because we love you" came. I will never forget that and all that happened, and will spend the rest of my life telling people this. Someday we will be together again.
But it is as if I'm always with them. There was a period of a month or two after the event, that I would feel guilty and not worthy because I was reading too many UFO books and other supernatural writings, and not the Bible. I always felt that maybe I was still somehow angry at God, and didn't want to admit it, because the words "Goddam," over and over, came back in my head one time, (after the dream of the violet light getting me) and I was very guilty and tried to blot it out by saying "Dam Satan, dam Satan" every time it would try to say that. This happened once when sitting on the outhouse, and also a few other times. I wondered if I could get rid of this terrible thing that I thought was me, and finally it faded. Sometimes I still had that wanting to strike out feeling.
THE DEVIL
Later one night, there was a dream vision of looking at the cover of a UFO book that was clouded over with a dark mist or cloud, and I could barely see a face on the cover of the book. It was a person with half open eyes, in a daze, and something somehow told me that this was the devil, but it looked like me a little. There was a evil feeling; it was as if the devil was trying to trick me by saying that the whole experience that you thought was from God and the UFO folks, is somehow the devil. I had a terrible feeling when waking then, that was a mixture of fear and anger, and I said "No devil messes with me!" It was so odd, because the way the dark cloud was over the front of the book... you had to try to look around or through it, and when I finally saw that face there was a horror that is hard to describe; a terrible fear, shock and much anger... that it is possible for a devil to actually try to trick me to believe that there is evil here. I knew that the devil is powerless, and it was God who came to me.
AT THE COAST
One time I awoke feeling sexual, and there was no object of sexual desire. That was the first and only time this has ever happened. I was over at the coast then, and was hoping they would come back and use me for breeding then. This was a month or so before they made me relive how they extract sperm by using the electrical buzzing in the mid section. I used to go over to the coast to my brother's house to be alone and feel used to being with the spirits. This was a little after they came, and I still had long lost feelings from childhood I was trying to locate.
THE PIG
A dream of an old house that was semi-buried at the base of a hill, and had a tin roof on the wooden porch. It was in a desert, and all the dirt was of a red orange, and seemed dry and dusty with few trees, but maybe a few bushes. An old man and his sons were there. A pig was running up the side around the house, and up the roof, up the hill where the house was buried at its base. The peak of the house was where the mountain went up. The pig was escaping, and somehow somebody caught it by the hind legs.
The next thing I recall is, there was a person that had a big knife and just shoved it in this guys throat under his chin, and blood comes gushing out, and this guy falls flat on his face, and I am so shocked, and say "I'm not going to remember this," because it is just so terrible; a really bad shocking feeling when still in the dream and when I woke up.
This reminds me of when I once cut a pig's throat. The way the guy fell flat on his face, was similar to the way the violet light knocked me down with that "POW" feeling, and is also a game I used to play when a kid, where I would try to fall on my stomach and chest without using arms or hands.
When the guy's head hit the dirt, it was like a boxer who was knocked out... for the head bounced, and the whole body skidded forward and buckled like a sack, or chunk of meat. This guy was dead.
DEEP WATERS
A dream of a big river, and places where the water was rushing very strong around rocks, and quite frightening. Other places were smooth and deep, but flowing strong. There was a weir and rocks with a place where it overflowed. The calm smooth places were quite large, and the turbulent noisy areas were rushing below where I was looking down from the rocks above. It seemed to flow finally into the ocean.
Another dream of a lake that had very big and dangerous types of fish that lurked in the dark watery areas. Sometimes I was in the water terrified, and just barely escaped, and could see large objects approaching. (This is a old recurring dream that has been awakened, and dreamt again. I knew I also had this dream from a long time ago)
MANY STAIRS
A dream of a mansion with many stairs,(this is a old recurring dream) and I was running up and down the stairs, and down the hallways. The stairs would turn, and then go up again, like the my old high school. Then at the cellar door, the stairs were very steep, and I could see bright orange light. The stairs were so steep, and I was afraid to go down, for fear of falling, and could feel a blast of heat. There was a girl there who said she would go down, and I tried to squeeze through the closed door that was just barely wide enough, and got out of there. I could feel the temperature change being cooler on the other side.
Later there was a quartz crystal that was light violet, and laying in a planter box. I picked it up and wanted to steal it, but felt guilty, for there was a girl there who said to put it back. I tossed it back, but it hit the edge of the box and shattered. (This reminds me of once when a glass lens shattered in my pocket from static electricity or some unknown reason. This happened right after handling it, and I had just put it back in my pocket. There might of been some type of internal stress in the glass.)
SUMMER CAMP
A dream of a summer camp, and there was a special cabin there that felt right at home, with a bathroom, refrigerator and everything. There were other cabins and people, a big lawn, picnic tables, and lake with willows. This was a recurring dream: for the last time I was there, there was a gravel road that was very long and winding, that led to the camp. The way there was hot and dry, and the camp was cool and shady with a lake.
Then I was on the back of a truck by the one yellow house at the end of the road at camp, and had tar on my shirt, and was afraid of the terrible stain I could not get out, for it was spreading when I moved.
A dream of a floating ship, like a round couch with curved pillow sections that folded out and tagged along behind the big one, like the tail of a kite, and said "NASA" on it.
THE RED RESTAURANT
The dream of a large warehouse, and was walking and running down hallways, around corners, and over bumps or some kind of grate or ramps on the floor. There were in those places handhold pipes or rails when going over the ramps and grates; then around the corner and I was running down a corridor, similar in many of these dreams. I'm a little kid, running in a familiar place, and there is a family in a room at the end of these corridors. (This is a old recurring dream that I dreamed again.) But in this dream when I came out of the hallway, I was in the dining room of a restaurant that had a red atmosphere. (Like at the Ukiah theater with the red rug and curtains.) The light was dimly lit, but not really dark. I walked past many tables made up and ready for people, but the place seemed empty.
There was another vague dream once of the low lights on the side of the chairs at the movie theater that were lighting up the red carpet, leading down the isles.
Another dream of a large restaurant, very expensive looking with folded napkins, and tables set. There were many motel rooms, very fancy, all in deep red with folded white towels, but totally abandoned. The big cafeteria was dark and empty, but ready for fancy people. I had a odd feeling like "what a waste and joke that people spend so much on being fancy, and there isn't even anybody here." Anyway... back to the original story.
I went across the red cafeteria and at the other end, saw through a door... a kitchen with people working in the back room. To the left of the door, was a fair sized pool with water splashing on blue tile steps in small waves, and was lit with under water lights around the edges, (like at the movie theater, there are lights by the floor.) This pool was all bright light blue, and there were silver hand rails in the center of the steps like on some court houses. (This is similar to walking to the pool level, up the second flight of stairs on the walk with God. There was hand rails in the center, just like the court house in Ukiah.) Then I turned back and to my right passing the kitchen door, and went across the room toward a large rectangular mirror on the wall. I looked into the mirror and saw a girl in a red dress with red shirt cut low in the shape of a heart around her neck, and she was sitting at a small round table for two with two seats with heart shaped backs. Everything in the room was totally in deep red with some black trim, and a little white. I was in love or attracted to her. She had a delicate large top wine glass in front of her, and had black borders around her collar, and dark shiny hair. There were also black boarders around the hearts on the chair's back cushions. The chairs were fancy twisted bent metal painted white. I was seeing all this through the mirror. Then a waiter came to her with a tray held up with one hand near his right shoulder, getting ready to serve her. Right then I turned from the mirror and looked behind me towards them, and there was nobody there. I was shocked and frightened because the red room and furniture were still the same, but was now empty in that quick instant. I awoke with the same frightened feeling.
MORE "BEEPS"
Another time when I heard the "beep" was after writing my major report, and was going to send it to the radio station. I was wondering if it was allright, and what was wrong with it. There was one part in the writing where I was trying to get them (Family Radio) to send me a bunch of songs I really liked, that I couldn't get, or didn't know how to find. I wanted them to record all the favorite songs that answered my thoughts during that special time when the spirit came. It was like I was blackmailing them (Family Radio) to give me a tape of favorite songs, because I had the message from God. I felt guilty about this, but really wanted those songs, and thought "Oh well, maybe it's just more evidence to make them believe the story is very real," but still I felt guilty. When I went to the outhouse and was sitting there, I thought "Jeeze, is this bad maybe?", and then heard the "beep," and felt like a rat, and cried about that a few times, and said "I'm sorry." I felt so guilty for trying to use this gift for gain... but think he has forgiven me, because I'm not perfect. I was saved from looking like a rat. This was when I was first being spoken to with the beep, and it was quite shocking when a beep would come.
Another time I heard the "beep" was when thinking of some slanderous phrases in my story, directed at one preacher who keeps yelling about Satan. I said mean words to this guy... and once again about a day later in the morning while sitting in the outhouse, and thinking "Maybe I shouldn't say those bad things," the "beep" came. I went right up and changed the bad part from "This screaming preacher is cursed," or something: to "You guys there at Family Radio have done so much for me, and I will never forget that." It was such a turn-around that I felt like a total liar and rat; and once again the spirit saved me from looking really bad, for there was no need to attack this preacher with mean words. I have written him a nasty letter before, and also just recently. I need to show more understanding.
Another time I heard the beep was when talking to my brother in the winery office, and was is the middle of telling how I sat at God's table. Everybody was talking, and Joel was standing where I said God's chair was, (relating the office table and chairs: to the story) and he was getting ready to argue, or debate. I was overwhelmed, and right then heard a "beep." I said "I hear a beeping noise in my ear," and became calm. He laughed and just gave up on me.
When driving my motorcycle on the Branscomb road to Rockport, I had bought a quart of beer, and wanted to stop and drink it and be drunk while driving. I had totally stopped drinking, and wanted to celebrate, but felt guilty knowing I shouldn't drink and drive, but was thirsty. Once I suddenly found myself drifting near the edge of the road, and it scared me, and right then heard a "beep," and knew it was a warning to not drink and drive. I should follow the rules, and it was comforting to know the spirit was with me always to guide and protect me.
I was talking to my brother's father-in-law, getting emotional and excited telling the story. Maybe it was too much for him to digest. Towards the high point while telling the story, I was worked up trying to get it all out, and heard a "beep," and then said "I hear a beep sometimes." I don't know if he believed that, for he was having a hard time taking me seriously anyway. That was a odd time for a beep, but it told me not to get too worked up.
When driving up the hill heading out Usal road leaving the coast, and thinking of how much rejection I had faced, and would face, I started crying. Afterwards I felt like throwing up, and thought that was strange, but maybe my body was trying to expel bad feelings. Then was thinking that I cannot be hurt, for I know that it is true, and God is with me, and I should love everybody and have sympathy and pity on them, for it is not their fault that it is so hard to believe. Then about a half a minute later, was heard a "beep," and I was amazed and wondered why it came at an odd time. Then I turned my motorcycle around and drove back to the place of the beep, and realized it was right where the road reached the top of the hill, and then started to level off and then drop down the other way. Then I knew it meant that "I had reached the top of the hill when I could face rejection and still love people," and am so amazed at the way the spirit delivers the messages at the right time.
One day I wrecked my motorcycle and tore a patch of skin out of the palms of my hands, and got scraped knees. Was goofing off then, and said "I'm not cwazy," and did a spin out in gravel on a corner, and the bike jackknifed and threw me on the pavement. Later that night I was in shock still and afraid of dying, and said "Jeeze, I screwed up," and right then heard a "beep." This was a little after the encounter, and before the scary violet light dream, where I felt the same panic and feelings of fear of death. This was one of the first "beeps," when I was learning this way of speaking. There were a number of beeps that came very early on, but at the time I didn't know it was a way of speaking, and I didn't relate the fact of "having to reflect back on what just happened." I missed maybe six or eight messages before realizing it was a way of speaking. I felt like a fool when I finally caught on, and realized they were trying to speak earlier. It was odd at first, when I was first hearing the beeps. Before that even, I had the feeling I was being watched, and getting used to the idea of being monitored was the biggest shock. This was a few weeks after they first came. I went through stages of not being able to believe this was really true. It was just so shocking and out of normal reality. Often when I thought of them would come a strong feeling of being watched, and it was scary at first, and I felt extremely self conscious. I always feared evil thoughts that would pop out of my mind and make me look bad; evil thoughts against them. It took a long time to get over that. I was caught between my love and dedication for them, and also a fighting side. That is why they gave the dream of the devil and the words in my head saying "God dam" over and over. It was a way of getting rid of the guilt and conflicting emotions of wanting to strike out. After the violet light dream, I went through a renewed turmoil. I used to always worry about what I was thinking, especially thoughts of betraying them, that caused guilt. I also went through a stage of embarrassment about them knowing everything about me. After awhile when realizing that they can see everything, I got over that.
UFO
There have been two times when I saw a bird flying out of the corner of my eye, and also a silver airplane once. When I looked back to see it better, it was not there. At first I didn't think much of it, and wasn't sure, but then realized that earlier the same day, I had been saying "I want to see a UFO" over and over, and it happened that day. Then I started catching on. The first time it happened, it was over the tall guy's property, who was the same father figure I sat next to at God's table. That day I was driving my motorcycle past his vineyard and house on the hill, and thought I saw a silver airplane out of the corner of the right eye, and then looked back and it wasn't there. This meant I saw a UFO over Gods place.
The next time I saw an unidentified flying object, it was over a field, and was a big black bird (crow or raven) high up, out of
the corner of the right eye also, and when I looked again it wasn't there...
The third time was when riding motorcycle on a remote road that forked off Sherwood road.
I was heading north, and had also been thinking earlier that day: "Maybe I might see a saucer out in the woods, because it was away from the public, and I was the only vehicle on the dirt road. A while later, I saw a horse on a hill after crossing a
bridge, and beeped my horn to shock it, as a joke. It looked startled to see me, and lifted its head quickly, like I was the only odd sight it had seen all day. A little after that, I saw a black bird, barely out of the corner of the left eye, like a big crow flapping way up there. Then I looked again to see it better, and it just wasn't there, even when scanning the area. It kind of shocked me, and it's amazing this happened right after I had startled the horse, and had been hoping to see a UFO that day. I have told people about this, and they say "Oh, it must of gotten lost from your vision." Then I say that that day I had been thinking of wanting to see a UFO, and it has happened this way three times now. They still don't seem to believe. Then I say "Until it happens to you, you won't believe it."
Once I saw some crows in the road being pulled as if by some invisible force, up from the front of a speeding truck to safety, what looked like certain death.
BLOODY ROCK
One time I turned back from Sacramento, when I stopped at Bloody Rock in Lake County. When at the rock, that's on a old island (now dry around it,) I had a feeling I had to go back to tell the local Jehovah's church I had been going to. This was about a week after the encounter. I wasn't prepared for that trip anyway, and as it turned out it began raining later, and I was on a motorcycle. Back then I was in a very different frame of mind, and was still getting used to what had happened. Bloody rock is the place the Indians were killed when they retreated to the old island to escape the white man.
THE GINGERBREAD MAN
I recall the gingerbread man with the tire track over him as he lay in the mud puddle, behind the truck type train with the visitors hanging on. The truck train was first driving through the field toward the gate, and there was a commotion, or a time of people running trying to get on before it left. (The scene was similar to when we picked grapes and were just preparing to go out the gate of the ranch onto the main road, two years before, and I met a girl from Europe whom I really liked, but was too shy to talk much. I met her in the same situation at the gate after we had picked grapes.) In the dream I was saying "Who were those people?", to someone kneeling near the gate, as the train just rumbled out. He laughed and said "Well, what do you expect?" (This person was someone I feared was a homosexual, and was spreading it. This ties in to the constant homophobia I was feeling around that time.)
The truck was just like a train with people hanging on the sides, as it drove out the gate. Somehow it seemed I knew them, but couldn't recall who they were. Then I looked back and saw a flat cookie gingerbread man, maybe two or three feet tall, laying in a mud puddle with a tire track imprint, molded across his back. He could of had red and green buttons down his front. This was one of the very first dreams that happened during the encounter, on the last, or next to the last night. That was before I knew how they spoke in dreams, and didn't really understand it then. (The train was a old symbol in recurring dreams going way back into childhood. When I was a kid I was a fan of trains. I also heard a low vibrating one night when younger, that I thought was the train going up the grade down in the valley. That night I had been sleeping outside, and felt the slow twisting spiral. I'll talk about that later.)
There was another time when I heard the low rumbling vibration. This was when I had hiked up the big mountain (a few months before the encounter) in the middle of the day, and had found the holy place with the rock slab like a table under a slightly overhanging cliff. When first getting there, I recall a vibrating sound that came in waves, and I thought it was workers running a back-hoe putting in the new water pipeline and pumping station quite a ways away. Then I was thinking it sounded like Indian drums in the distance, and I thought the Indian spirits were angry for finding out the secrets. I was saying "I'm the shaman, I'm the rock shaman, it's OK." There was even a slight melting feeling at one point as I was standing there, but I knew of no lost time, but am not sure.
A long time much later (after the encounter) I was thinking "Maybe it is true that I was actually taken that day, considering the low vibrating and the slight melting relaxed feeling once." Then, that very next night after thinking about this, I actually saw a brief vague but clear vision of seeing the landscape moving under me from way above, and the scene under me was the exact place where I was on the mountain. I could tell by the layout of the terrain, and I was moving south I think. This actually happened about a half year later. The idea of moving south is puzzling, but it could mean I am being delivered. The idea that God resides in the North has been shown in the earlier dream of the little cloud taking off from the same big mountain's top, and heading back north. Also, in the earlier major saucer ride vision, I was headed south, after leaving the God head building. This is proof that the God head building and the rock slab on Gods Mountain are similar.
It seems that after the major encounter, I had a persistent headache for two or three weeks, mostly in the front of the head, or left side. I used to have headaches that lasted for days, a long time ago also, but didn't know what caused them.
AIRSHIP
The old story of the airship anchor that got caught on the railroad tracks, and the other story of an airship anchor that caught a roof of a church means that the UFO anchor was caught on a path that was solid and permanent. These stories are in many UFO books, and are documented cases from way back. (The number "two": as in two tracks, and the two witnesses that represent the church, is also seen in the two pillars on either side of a door. The right angle of the church roof has meaning, and the anchor also. The two tracks tie into cities, and carry goods. The whole idea of the train is also evident here.)
IN THE WILDERNESS
As I said before, it could be that I was sitting at the end corner of a large table, with a group of people going all the way down, as if in a mess hall in a prison or cafeteria. We were eating something. The table was a long picnic table with a bench that ran all the way down. The table and benches were built with a tilted cross pattern for the legs, as seen from the end. This was the vague recalled dream image, the second or third day, after realizing I was fed the green food. The concept of eating the manna, and the "two" days it was fed, is similar to when Moses led his people out of Israel, across the Red Sea. Later they were fed manna from heaven when struggling in the wilderness. Manna is God's word, and to partake is communion.
In the wilderness, Jesus was tempted by the devil. Communion with the father is a sweet experience in the desert. The desert is a place of solitude and reflection. Conflict always proceeds communion with the holy father. Those who survive the battles of the desert, find God satisfying. The loneliness, isolation, solitude, and rebuke from fellow man will lead you to the comfort of the father in prayer. In the desert of your experience, you will find peace and comfort. "Conflict, communion, and commitment."
OLD HOUSE
A recurring dream of the big old familiar house with many rooms, and the people in them. Old close friends I used to visit: the house is a lost part of my life. Each room had a different personality. Some were empty rooms, others lonely, one was bright and warm with many people bustling around. One was deteriorating with leaking roof and floor caving in and partly missing. Some old steps were rickety and dangerous, and with a scary feeling to be going out there. The front door had been nailed shut long ago. Upstairs, the old high porch around the outside was too dangerous to be walking on.
TWO SAVED
While working in the winery, I threw a case up on the stack, and it rolled off and hit the pallet hard. Even though I tried to grab it, it was too late and two bottles broke. Nearby was a partial case with four bottles, so I grabbed it and transferred the bottles from the wet broken glass case to the partial case. When done there were two bottles broken and two left over that wouldn't fit in the full case. I thought "What does that mean?" Then it came to me: Two broken, and two saved. Two souls broken equals two vessels saved. Now the spirits were working within and giving messages. I am studying to learn more each day. This was a week or more after they first came.
ODDS AND ENDS
An old recurring dream of the old road with the soft shoulder of dirt that feels so good to lay my head and body on. It is like a bulldozer just plowed a fresh shoulder on the road side that was cool soft dirt. Could it be a alien nanny's soft shoulder or hand?
Dead end street. Could that be when I had to leave again, and was left looking over the railing into the empty field? Oh, how I longed for the endless empty field.
It could be that I was very self conscious as a young person because of all the attention I received in the double life. The symbol of the dual concept fits the dual life the chosen ones live, until when resurrected becomes a triad. Maybe after death it's a square?
I recall telling my Dad the same thing the spirits told me: "You're supposed to love everybody, because you love yourself first." I was even screaming this the same way the spirit (Jeeze) was screaming it at me, when they came. This is the first thing I heard through telepathy, and I cried and cried and said "I do I do." It scared me to death.
Once there was a sound in my head that was just like a person's voice. It said "Hay there" like my Dad would say sometimes. This was a few months after the encounter, around when I felt the heat lamp feeling, and was just getting used to how they speak with the beeps. There was so much that happened, I can't keep track of exactly when.
All the bright lights on top of the pyramid looked like a big birthday cake.
Three drops of liquid put on the head, face, or tong is the drug that starts the dream. This is in fairy lore.
The eating or drinking of a bitter substance that causes amnesia: The Greeks called it the milk of forgetfulness. This is the drug that makes you forget, and could be related to worm wood, or the eating of the bitter scroll, spoken of in the bible.
The Alpha and the Omega, or first and last: The shape of the mouth of the alien character (with the suit and black top hat, and with half circle chest plate,) in the book "Communion" was in the shape of a "O." To eat of or speak of the message, is seen.
The eyes of the lizard creatures in the book "The Andresson Affair" are the same as the omnipotent eyes of God on the four living creatures wings, and also the eyes on the wheels in Ezekiel in the bible. This is also like the eyes I saw, that were like a mass of goofy cartoon eyes. Rev. 4: 6-8 tells of the eyes on the wings of the four living creatures. I wondered for two days before realizing what the eyes meant. The pyramid with the eye on top is also seen on the dollar bill.
The reverse echelon pattern that saucers have been seen to fly in shows that "the first shall be last, and the last shall be first." The right angle is seen also, unless it was a perfect triangle. Either way there is a message.
Here is another interesting fact: If you slice off the corner of a perfect square, you will have a perfect triangle on the sliced side, and also a right angle on the "three" corners, (but changing from a edge to a flat plane), when running a line down the edge and around the tip of the right angle. You change from a edge to a flat plane when you turn the corner. The triangle and the right angle ("frame") together are the building blocks of all three dimension nature. Is this true?
The perfect rectangle holds the mathematical formula for all three dimensional matter, and fits the formula for the golden mean spiral. This is why it is such a pleasing shape to the eye, and is the shape of a door or window. It fits the shape of a person passing through, as if both were made for each other. A persons life is like a book or a door.
In the walk with God, the grass field, pool of water, pyramid top under the table, and the table, all seemed to be in the shape of a rectangle. If each of these were put sideways into the one side of the other, the formula for the golden mean spiral would be seen. This is a important factor, and holds further secrets.
( Figure
15.)
The song "In the sweet by and by, we shall meet on that beautiful shore," really fits the red sea scene in my walk with God. The song "I walked with him and I talked with him" fits also. The song "Angle band" fits also. It goes "Oh come ye angle band, come all around me stand, oh carry me away on your snowy wings to my immortal home."
They sang: "We will glorify the king of kings, we will glorify the lamb, we will glorify the savior, who is the great high hand." This is one of the songs they played on the nights when the spirit kept telling me I was a risen Christ; this and a lot of other songs that praised Jesus kept playing. I couldn't believe they were doing this just for me. That is why I thought they must be doing this to people all over, maybe one in each town.
THE BAPTISM
On the third or fourth day after the encounter when riding my motorcycle, I was caught in a rain storm on the way back from the Mission Thrift store. I shivered so much when on the freeway, and all the way home. I had to breath heavily and moan just to survive, trying to keep the muscles working and the blood flowing, and ease the pain of the cold. It took a lot out of me, and was a baptism and a way of letting out emotion it seemed. The cold wind and water works very well if you breath deeply and utter long moans of confirmation. By the time you get home, you are healed. This same heavy breathing and moaning was the only way I was able to make it through the ordeal when the spirit came. There is something about the spirit being in the breath and through the utterances of crying and spilling out of emotion, that the process of healing takes place. This must be a natural process obviously. The idea of laying on of hands was also similar to the way I would pat and stroke myself when they first came. This also was a way of affirming and healing, and it seemed it actually was coming from the spirit through me. A thought from me would say "You're good, youre good" over and over when doing this. When the spirit spoke, and poured love and caring out, I answered Yeah yeah" over and over. This was another way of healing and reuniting with them again.
WASHING MACHINE
When I saw the silver saucer in the dream, it was bouncing in the wind through the clouds like a bird at first, and then came right in front overhead and started coming down, doing the perfect falling leaf moves. It was bright silver like the big stainless steel washing machine at the Laundromat, but saucer shaped. The circular glass window at the laundry mat must have been like the bottom of the saucer I was looking out in the vision of the saucer ride. The idea of washing fits my life; they washed a lot of sin away when they came.
This was one of the first dreams a little after the encounter, when I kept asking to see a flying saucer. The setting was at the tall father figure's property, out in his field, and his daughter was there. That was the girl I really liked.
BARKING DOGS
Barking dogs from all sides has been a problem, and my sensitivity to noise really brought a lot of anger out. I would scream "Shut up" at the top of my lungs, and would sometimes run through the night and attack them with rocks and dirt clods, and my heart would race with anger. It was a horrible time in my life and people thought I was crazy, yelling at night at the dogs; and still do, and still the dogs wouldn't stop. Sometimes it was terrible, and a rush of hatred would well up inside of me. This went on for a long time. Maybe the spirit caused the dogs to bark to get my anger to the surface, but who knows.
Some people still laugh when I tell them the barking dogs bother me. This was two or three years before the fire and the encounter. I was a recluse and angry at most people. It must have been good therapy, working out repressed anger that must go back to childhood.
Then came the very hot fire that swept through, at least three or four months before the encounter, which pretty much cleaned up my act and did more good then bad, considering how much garbage I had collected. There were five old trailers, big piles of wood (from my torn down house, although the spiral rock foundation remains as a ruin), brush, trees, twenty old motorcycles and scooters, and heaps of stuff that I would never use. Scrap metal and over a hundred old tires. I had already gotten rid of four cars. There was so much material garbage collected, I was trapped. Even after the fire, there is still tons of junk, like two thousand pieces of old fragile greenhouse glass I'll never use, an old broken down 1936 "Twenty Two" bulldozer, my old torched 1935 Dodge flatbed, old stoves, and more trailers to tear down and rebuild. Simplifying life, getting a new heart, and moving to a higher ground spiritually is the best thing that ever happened since God came and showed me how to be free and love people and myself. You can't change people, but you can change yourself. I was a constant slave to alcohol, pot, and chewing tobacco, and have been able to stop, but sometimes fall back into it, and then the spirit warns me to stop again. My problem is I can't have just one or two. Someday I might possibly marry, and be like other people: happy with a promise of a life of no fear, anger or torment. Is this true? Sometimes a person has to just hide or become a monk if things don't work out. It can be easier to give it all up, and get out of the rat race. The spiritual life can be very rewarding. One can find a happy medium, and always have the joy of knowing that the riches of heaven await, if you indure till the end. Some people are physically poor and some are spiritually poor.
HATE
There was a period of four years when I never once went to see my family on Christmas or Thanksgiving, and for ten years I was a hermit living within shouting distance of the rest of the family. When I did visit them I was sometimes greeted with a cutting remark. My parents had a rocky marriage, but they stayed together. With twelve people in the family, there was a little competition, but no more then in the real world. I don't mean to paint a bad picture, because there were good times too.
I had worked at the local store as a box boy for about seven years, and also the gas station, and the yurt factory for a season. I had quit that and was rearranging my life for a few years, and doing odd jobs, and working at my family's winery off and on.
Everyone has ups and downs, but sometimes it seemed like everyone had turned on me, or I had turned on them, and I started to hate. I was just so mad at everything. It took a while before realizing you have to love yourself, and not get caught up in the ways of the world. I don't want to blame anyone, but I ended up hating everyone. Some people just keep killing you over and over, and if you buy into that and fight back, and feel like you deserve that, you are a co-enabler or whatever jargon the psychologist use. You know nothing else, and set people up to treat you like garbage by acting strange or hostile. Just a odd or hostile look on your face, or dressing strange can turn people against you.
One of the healing facts of the encounter is that I can still act weird and people can still turn against me, and in doing so I can face the biggest problem and overcome it, which is that it doesn't matter how people treat you so long as you don't take it personally and to the heart. Now I can finally find sympathy for people, even though they turn on me. It really does cure you, when the point of saturation has been reached. I just don't take offense anymore like I used to, even though sometimes I get slaughtered. People can't hurt you if you love yourself. (This has happened in the three years since the encounter, after trying to convert the churches and trying to make other people believe. Later in the story I tell about many true encounter experiences, trying to convert others.)
My dad was a powerful speaker who wouldn't let you get a word in, and is just like the preachers I'm trying to get to listen to this. It makes me mad having to listen to the know it alls, and I must be like that also, otherwise it wouldn't bother me so much. "Listen to me, I have the final answers. I am the last word on the subject, and want to be like the most high." That is the attitude you have to have, if you expect to get sheep like followers.
Watch out for the false prophets. The end times are a different ball game, and it is obvious that the churches haven't caught on yet. They haven't become apostate like the bible says they will. I know it is so shocking to believe that this is how God is coming upon the earth.
When the fire came, I was in town on my scooter at the time, and missed most of the fire. When I arrived, there was a big black cloud of smoke, and I was thinking "That looks awfully close to my place." It was a shocking scene, with people all around, and the firemen still fighting a few burning areas. There was even a big airplane dropping borade. Your body goes into a type of shock, and you become very calm, and feel like your floating around when walking.
THE BIG PEELING CLOUD
There was another time when the sun was behind the clouds, and I had the feeling it was my Dad behind there. As I entered the on ramp onto the freeway driving my motorcycle, I was looking up toward this big pink cloud that was starting to unravel at the top in a big sweeping arch. The wind was peeling like the flames of the sun close up, and I knew they were behind there, and were waving good-by, because I had the feeling they were leaving. It was the day after the last day of the encounter. The sun was glowing orange behind that big cloud with the coiling clouds peeling off the top in the spiral shape. It was like a wave being blown, and the leading edge vaporizing into the air. It was a scene I've never seen before, and I felt they were doing that for me then. They have a way of mixing with your spirit and making you aware of these things, knowing when to look and feeling they are there. What a honor and a miracle this was.
SHEDDING OLD BRANCH
Another time, there was a dead branch that fell after the big storm, and then in my head came the thought of shedding the old self. This is how they work: There will be a sign, and then a thought will enter your head. They can also throw a thought in your head before something happens. A example was, when I said to everybody at the winery: "Do you realize that (the encounter) happened on Papa's birthday? Right after that, a song starts playing on the radio saying "Your father's spirit in heaven." It is true that I didn't realize it was my fathers birthday on the day of the walk with God, and only saw this a month or so later. It is true that I'm that absent minded with special dates. Some people claimed I subconsciously dreamed it all because I knew it was my Dad's birthday. This is not true, because I totally forgot about my Dads birthday, if you can believe that.
This morning there was a song that said "I should obey the rules." This happened right after I awoke from a dream in which I was smoking a joint. These things have happened so many times, it is beyond coincidence. It seems they have the power of putting the thoughts in your head, and setting you up, right before the song hits the air. Every time they did this, it really impressed me. These scenes happened when getting used to the idea I was being monitored, and this was a few weeks after the encounter. It took a while to get used to this feeling, and to even believe it was really happening. There was something that gave this feeling now and then. I was still getting used to having been visited, and wasn't aware of the full extent of their powers. The feeling was scary at first, and at times I wondered if it was really true. Later they would show me that it was always true; I was locked into their computer, and have a guide that watches over me.
The spirit woke me up in the night when Family Radios "Night Watch" program was just reading Proverbs 2 , that spoke of "those who scatter bring in more." Then you sang the short song about "feast on the manna from heaven." This was the night after I wrote you the last letter, and said how I think the spirit wakes me up in time to hear certain important things. The story about manna is very important to me, because they fed me green food on two of the nights. This is one of the few very physical links with reality, besides the small cuts they put on me. The other amazing fact was that about eight bananas were missing from a bunch laying on the pile of plywood by the door. There were two left, and a sticker on one said "bonita." We had traded food. This(bananas missing) was on either the first or second night. Second I think.
(I was born in 1954 and I was 38 years, 8 and a half months old then.) Another amazing fact I found out later, was that my birthday was on the same day that the head of the Aetherius Society (George King) first received telepathic communication, telling him he was a representative of interplanetary parliament. He was doing dishes in his house in Europe at the time, which was May 8, 1954.
Write me anybody. Tell me your thoughts. On the one night, the third, I walked with the Lord through a series of steps and large rectangles with borders. One with grass. Another with a pool of water and seven pillars around it with a water spring coming out of rocks at the far end, then up a series of pyramid-like steps where there were bright lights, to a table.
There was a red carpet that flowed down the steps like blood. At the table were three candlesticks, the tallest in the center where he sat.
I sat on his right and was much lower than him. There was a big goblet-style wine glass and a book. I never saw his face but he held my hand on much of the walk. Next we walked to the right past an old church and talked to someone standing in the door. Then we walked out into a big field where one path crossed another, and he waved a stick across it at the one corner, as if he was saying, “I will harvest all this.”
I was now standing behind a group of people, but I don’t remember seeing anyone really. Next we were at a large red-orange sea filled to the brim, and the sky was the same. Like cotton candy, but glowing without a sun. There were very tall spires way out on the sea--three of them, one the tallest, and what seemed like the edge of a city, through the red fog, that looked like lily pads connected together.
And here also he was waving his cane, saying, maybe, “Someday this will all be yours.”
And once again I was standing behind a group of people that I couldn’t really see, although they could have all been dressed with white robes like a graduation.
Put yourselves in my shoes and I’ll put myself in yours.
(Tell others this! It appears obvious that they will be here soon and all will know more of God’s hidden mysteries. Get ready!
When I awoke the next morning, I was dead tired, but thought I had slept like a log, and could not remember a thing until later that day, and the next day. There was a warm glow in the room that morning. I was also fed that night on green food. There was obviously a lot that happened that cannot be remembered.